Baked, or: Wry humor

Free verse, free verse, getcher free verse!
Tomorrow it'll cost ye! Straight 
outta the oven! Yes, Ma'am! 'ere ye go, Ma'am! 
Oh, yes, Sir! We've been in the guild fer fi... 
no... make it six generations in consonance 
with our family's standards...
Th-the vow, Sir? O-of course, Sir, b-by 'eart, Sir!
I do solemnly vow, ill or 'ealthy, to uphold
the standards of the Bakers' Guild, to 
purchase only the best... the b... S-
Sorry? What's that, Sir?
The boy? Oh, 'e's 
my ward, Sir; 'e was sent 'ence
by the royal baker, Sir... jus' 
fer stealin' a fresh verse, Sir, but 'e's 
a good boy, a-a quiet 
boy... now, n- never ye mind
that, Sir! A fine boy, 
I tell ye! J-just made a m-mistake,
is all! And I still remember the first thing 'e
said to me, v-ver-verbatim, Sir! I'd jus' 
taken some fresh verses outta th... wh-what, Sir? 
Oh, rye - I'm 
sure of it, Sir...
a-anyway, this waif, I see 'im eyeing the rye - 
I'm thinking 'e's gonna grab 
one and run, but instead 
'e says t'me, wouldn' ye give me a warm verse, Mister,
if I writes ye a poem, Mister? I writes good, Mister!
And then 'e jus' collapses right there, an' 
he's lyin' flat on the ground, an' I near... I... 
near... It was horrid, Sir! Din't know what to do!
But then, real slowly like, the boy pulls 'imself up, 
an' 'e stands a-an', oh,
oh heck, 'e didn't owe me anything - 
it was just a free verse like this one

22 thoughts on “Baked, or: Wry humor”

  1. Man does not live by bread alone πŸ₯πŸ₯–πŸžπŸ₯―. It’s a good thing I didn’t have to lip read this, lol!

      1. Lol, that is totally how β€œsmear” should always be written. I’m starting a campaign for that immediately – the smear campaign. Are you one of those people that is walking around and constantly composing verse and laughing to yourself looking like a crazy person or does this all just calmly flow out of you when needed? Sadly because I am a visual thinker the word colon caused an unpleasant picture from a medical book to flash through my mind. Probably not what you were intending.

      2. hmn… I do have a strange sense of humor, but I don’t think I act like a crazy person… although maybe my wife thinks differently πŸ˜‰

  2. Oh this was super, Ben. I felt I was in a pirate movie, and I actually loved the flow of it. Well done. Free verses are one of my favorite forms of poetryβ€οΈπŸ’

    1. Thanks, Diana πŸ™‚

      I struggle with accepting free verse (at least my own free verse) because I can’t help but wonder what the limits are – what makes it poetry, exactly?

      On the other hand, there is something deeply liberating about just writing words and not worrying about writing correctly – just ending lines wherever I happen to feel like doing so… I’m not sure that makes my pieces poetic, but they’re fun to write πŸ˜€

      1. I am in total concurrence with your last paragraph. I think what matters is the story we all tell, in whatever form of poetry we use. Feelings, deep emotions and our innermost thoughts are expressed, and I love that the most. Maybe Poetry is that pen where the ink never runs out… πŸ˜ŠπŸ’

    1. I was working (actual “work”), and I had to pause because I was waiting for my boss to send me feedback on something… so I decided to play with some words in the meantime πŸ˜€

      1. I was a little miffed as it is not like you to disappear like that. Usually it’s because of some personal issue hence my ‘are you OK?. I can see you ARE OK so ‘good to know’ as PD’s listener would say….

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s