‘Stepping Off the Sidewalk’ – a d’Verse poetics prompt
Epigraph:
Ask no questions of the moth in the candle flame…
Attar (c. 1145 โ c. 1221)
fans flames of sheer with gossamer notes
burn dark bright through seared clear words crisp
lick searching for hell's deep heights of
verse parches air thin burning with
a yearning melody leaves shivering all
it warms sighs crying elegies fierce
flashing flaring fiery forms
doomed desperate winged pleadings pierce
At dโVerse, we were asked to write a spiritual-mystical poem using a line from a list of several. We were allowed to use the line as an epigraph at the beginning of the poem. I chose the line written by Attar as my epigraph.
Very nicely done David.
Thanks, Dwight!
Yours,
David
Well I wanted to pick a favorite line but I canโt. They all so beautifully work. The beginning and the ending are gorgeously visual and the middle supports the beginning and ending. What more can you ask for in a piece. Lovely work. Hugs ๐ค Joni
Thank you for the very kind compliment, Joni. I really appreciate your thoughtfulness.
All best,
David
My pleasure my friend. Your poem was visual stunning and your use of descriptive words brilliant.
ืฉืืืื ืืื ืกืืฃ ืฉืืืข ืืฉืืช ืืืืจืืช ืืื ืืื โค๏ธ๐ฆ
You’re so sweet, Joni!
Thank you,
David
๐ค๐โค๏ธ
I have often watched and wondered at moths circling light. When I read your very atmospheric poem, the thought crossed my mind that we are all a bit like the moth. We endlessly circle things we think we want, but they have the potential of destroying us. Loved your poem, David! ๐
Thanks so much, Cheryl โค
David, you’ve turned the butterfly on her ear and spun her up in her shining doomed magnificence. If her going warms others, all the better. The title sets the stage as does the image. You slam-dunked the prompt!
Your compliments are very kind, Lisa ๐
Thank you!
David
You’re welcome.
Smiles, poems and characters take on a life of their own…We might start thinking we are writing something, but the more we write. we see, we are not entirely in control…as you say, What can you do? Then, there is the interpretation of each reader, which is also a phenomena..that I actually love.
Yeah, it’s actually quite fascinating. I could see somebody doing a Ph.D. study of what it means for words to have lives of their own and how they speak differently to different people ๐
Doomed and pleading to be consumed….very powerful visual here..almost painful to read and imagine David!
|Interesting, a feel the soul of Poe in this one, who by the way, was my go-to writer when I was 11 after my father’s death. love the parade of f sounds in line 7. It all rolls off the tongue, when recited out loud.
Originally, I sort of had a concept of the moth being the cause of the never-ending flames, which represent its grief… but I think the poem went in a somewhat different direction.
What can you do? ๐
-David
Hello Ben thank you for liking the comment I left on Luna’s blog concerning female rage. I have left two more comments there. For me this is one of those issues I feel so strongly about that I do not mince words nor take prisoners.
I’m totally with you, David.
Yours,
David
Thank you!
I came close to choosing this line, realize now I would not have composed a poem as lovely as yours.
Wow, Helen – that is one heck of a compliment. ๐ณ Thank you so much!
-David
Wow, this was written so well! It was very descriptive and and intriguing! I especially loved the second line, “burn dark bright through”
dVerse has some amazing prompts!
Thank you, IT ๐
d’Verse has really been expanding my horizons, in terms of style and subject… It’s great!
-David
Of course! Please call me D. IT refers to Pennywise๐
Sure ๐
I meant I-ntroverted T-houghts!
-David
Thank you! Yes, I realised that. I have been called IT quite a few times because of my rather long pen name.
โค
Those little doomed desperate winged creatures would be honored if they knew you wrote a poem about them. They would bask in recognition for only a moment though, before becoming fiery forms. ๐ Well done, David.
Pun not intended. haha
Michele,
It seems to come naturally for you ๐
Yours,
David
That too might only last a minute before they drift into my bug zapper! โกโก
โค
David
Not everything that mesmerizes should be experienced.
No. This experience is not one that I would wish upon anyone, Debi, but there are those who do live through something similar.
Thanks for sharing your reflection ๐
All best,
David
It almost feels that the purpose of moths is to burn.
Yep!