Conception, or: Reality?

Pantoum this ~ must be of eight lines
Order plain in rhythm and rhyme
Play as one, none ahead, nor behind
Obey they none other than ~ time

Order plain in rhythm and rhyme
Each and ev'ry moment ~ divine
Obey they none other than ~ time
Ever turning, together entwined

Each and ev'ry moment ~ divine
Mem'ries all have, like ~ yours & mine
Ever turning, together entwined 
Minutes meld, in an image combined

Mem'ries all have, like ~ yours & mine
Pantoum this ~ must be of eight lines
Minutes meld, in an image combined
Play as one, none ahead, nor behind

39 thoughts on “Conception, or: Reality?”

1. Excellent write! It reads like a magic spell and it’s incredible how the first letters spell ‘Poem.’

   1. That’s what I was going for! I’m glad you got it 🙂

      -David

2. Hmm… Very, very interesting!! Loved the flow of words here! ❤️❤️

   1. Round and round they go! 🌀

3. Very clever use of the pantoum form plus the spiral image to create a poem within a poem within a poem: perhaps you could carry this on forever?

   1. Ingrid,

      oy vey – that would be daunting!

      I think I’ll try to remain content with where I left this 😀

      -David

      1. Fair enough! I just think it’s a possibility: imagine a poem handed down from poet to poet through the generations…

         1. WOW… You’re tempting me…!

4. Rhyming has beautified the pantoum. Good work, David!!

   1. Thx, Kaushal!

5. Reblogged this on Nelson MCBS.

6. like a clock ticking, or a metronome.

   1. Just keep turning the ⌛ over and over…

      ❤
      David

7. (Neverita duplicata, common name the shark eye, is a species of predatory sea snail, a marine gastropod mollusk in the family Naticidae, the moon snails).
   I think I’ve got it right. Sorry i just couldn’t help myself, the photo first held my attention.- An interesting face of the clock which reminded me of the shark eye moon shell. I naturally thought it worth a mention in combination with this very fascinating form of poetry called Pantoum.
   So it’s the second and last lines that step forward and fall in line for the next verse that forms a Pantoum. Did I say fascinating?
   Indeed, and once again an enjoyable read at this quiet hour.
   Fascinating indeed.
   Bravo ben, a fun and fascinating read
   Engaged in Mem’ries. (fun, fascinating, I enjoyed reading how you approached Memories)
   (Minutes meld, in an image combined
   Play as one, none ahead, nor behind)

   Exclamation /Perfectamum ….(own word)
   Beautiful timing.

   1. Abi,

      I have to say that your compliments are flattering, but – more importantly – they’re very interesting. You always add something to the conversation, which is definitely more than I can do when I comment on other people’s posts 🙂

      Thank you,
      David

      1. ben you one of the poets that sets my small circle of online poets ablaze. We’ve been in conversation for a little while now and it’s a pleasure and delight to add to the conversation where I can.
         I enjoy commending, offering praise and expressing my admiration. Life is so short, good wishes and compliments truly felt are a blessing.

         1. ❤

8. Nice rhyme.

   1. Thanks, Shira ❤

      1. H Lo Davar (did I get that right?),
         Shavuah Tov, David!
         Shira

         1. almost 🙂

            I think you meant:

            על לא דבר
            (al lo davar) You are welcome.

            Shavuah Tov, Shira!

            -David

            1. Ah! Todah Rabah, David!
               Shavuah Tov! (did I say that already?)
               Shira

            2. Yes ❤

            3. 🙂

9. Nice job David

   1. Thanks so much, Lauren 🙂

      I came up with the idea after learning about the form… it just seemed to fit well.

      All best,
      David

10. David, I adore this one… had to look up Pantoum, so have also learned something new again from you: “a Malay verse form, also imitated in French and English, with a rhyme scheme ABAB.”

    I love the rhythm of it, ticking Iike a clock, but the love its entwined with makes the parts feel round.

    1. Thanks, Lia. I just learned about pantoums recently via d’Verse 🙂

       -David

       1. Nice. 👌😊 So yes that’s a question that crosses my mind whenever I read your dverse footnote… I don’t know if I’m understanding it correctly, and I always get curious about the form/prompt inspo, but only because it’s mentioned at the end… anyway, love what you have done with this form, and it makes me want to try it some*time.* ⏱👀🤓✍️😉

          1. pantoums don’t have to rhyme – I wrote one before that didn’t.

             but then I saw one that did rhyme on somebody else’s blog, and I thought – oooooo – I have to try that

             so – I did 🙂

             the repeating line structure lends itself to the message of the poem (at least hopefully it does!)

             -David

             1. I like it very much, yes the repetition is what made it work so well… and the image is beautiful with it. 🌀

11. Your poem has great self-awareness – referring to itself and entwining other subjects too. 😁 Nice work David! I wonder what form you will next introduce? Thanks for keeping it interesting! 👏🏼

    1. I’m really glad that you got it, Michele 🙂

       Actually, I just learned about this form recently, and my first attempt was non-rhyming… but then I decided to give it a second go, and this is what came of that.

       Time is an interesting subject – we only perceive it linearly… but what if it’s not?

       Appreciatively as always,
       David

       1. What if?!? ⏰ 💭😳

12. I like this very much

    ~FF

    1. Thanks, FF!

       I aim to please 😉

       -David