His doubts pained her profoundly / Why wouldn't he believe in her words? Quarantined alone at home, with only her enchanting descriptions of the world outside to raise his spirts, but still he wouldn't / Instead he compelled her, insisting she repeat after him, repeat his darkest thoughts repeat sorrows and banalities / Why are you doing this? She cried / Can you really no longer perceive beauty? She whimpered / Sprites, she promised him - are dancing with fallen leaves in the wind, and pixies - are prancing daintily across the puddles / But he would have none of it / Nonsense, he said / Now, read: [She shuddered but attempted to oblige him] All is cold, all is dead, and the world has become sheer hell frozen, unfurled, where fantasies, so naïve, once had twirled, there is now / Her graceful body heaved as she retched his horrid words out / No! No! No! I won't do this / What do you mean you won't? I mean: I won't be your poem anymore!
The above poem is my take on d’Verse’s ‘Personification & Imagery’ prompt.
The Writing Challenge: Write a poem utilizing either Personification (giving human characteristics to objects, animals, or ideas) or Imagery (appealing to the senses). If you want to combine these poetic devices in one poem, it’s also okay.
Very nicely done
🧚
Thanks, Lauren!
What a unique and creative “Take” on the challenge. Well done.
Thanks so much, Beverly 🙂
-David
Moving.
Really? 😮
I honestly wasn’t expecting that as a response to this piece! Thanks, Shira ❤
You’re welcome, David! Yes, it was moving. More in an ‘I no longer have an appetite for a few hours’ kind of way, but yes.
Chodesh Tov,
-Shira
Chodesh tov!
So cleverly done, David. To feel ones own verse resist, reluctant to simply be whatever repetitive expression he has chosen. Almost as if a writer’s greatest ally is his own verse, refusing to accept banality. Forcing the writer to strive for more. To grow beyond settled bounds.
💖
This one is especially good
really? 😮
Yes, I really did think I was perceiving a female human being.
[…] https://skepticskaddish.com/2021/01/15/change-or-estrange/ […]
Woo her back David…don’t let her leave! Nicely done 😊
😁
Very well done! Wonderfully penned. An enjoyable read!😊. Thank you David.
No, thank you, Suzette 💖
Pleasure😊👍
Oh, I love this. Beautiful and tragic, the poem personified.
💖 💖 💖
I was not sure where this poem was headed. The not knowing made for an interesting journey with a surprising ending. Very creative, David. 🧚♀️
I really appreciate your saying so, Michele – that’s what I was going for 🙂
Mission accomplished! 👏
Smart Sprite! Time to listen to her and find that positive voice! Well done David.
I liked this line…
Her graceful body
heaved
as she
retched
his
horrid words out /
Thank you so very much, Dwight!
You are welcome!
Reblogged this on Love and Love Alone.
Excellent!
💖
Wow David, this is very beautiful… I really love it 😊🌹
Thank you so much – I really appreciate it ❤
I like your imaginative use of the prompt here, embodying a poetic struggle between hope and despair. I’m pleased hope refuses to play ball at the end!
🙂
Much love, Ingrid – thank you!
-David
The twist in the tail was superb! My poem too refuses to marry my dark thoughts! Love what you did here. ❤️
❤ Punam ❤
lol I too wondered where this mythical tale was going so the twist was surprising!
I thoroughly enjoyed the encounter with fae, these lines drew me …
“Sprites, she
promised him –
are dancing
with fallen leaves in the wind,
and pixies –
are prancing
daintily across the puddles”
if we can’t believe in magic and miracles we are only just surviving … we thrive by using our imaginations to create poetry! Stunner
As somebody who loves mythical beings, I loved writing those lines 🙂
Thanks, Kate!
Yours,
David
your joy was evident!
This is incredibly potent! 💝💝
I love how you use ‘potent’ as a compliment – it’s very empowering! 🙂
Sincerely,
David
Our poems bear the burdens of our depressions…but thankfully they also have their own ways to kick us back to a different state. I’m smiling. (K)
Thanks, Kerfe!
Shabbat Shalom,
David
Superbly woven into a great surprise at the end. Great job!❤️👏👏👏👏
You are very kind, Cindy! Thank you.
Shabbat shalom,
David
You are so welcome!! thanks much!
I laughed at the end, I hope that’s all right. It took me so much by surprise! Good one!
no, that makes total sense! I was definitely going for a surprise finish 😀
Thanks, Jane!
Bingo, then!
Such an interesting take on the muse/poet relationship – and a wonderful ending – taking us back to the title. Bravo.
Thank you, Peter! I’m so glad that you could relate 🙂
-David
Clever…I like that ending…the subject rejects the poet…JIM
Thanks, Jim!
Yes, I was trying to keep the “reveal” to the very end 🙂
Yours,
David
This has a great twist in the end. I so enjoyed the build up until the reveal, which we can all relate to.
Thanks for joining in.
Thank you very, very much for the lovely prompt, Grace!
Sincerely,
David
Wow… This was something different.. But superbly written. ❤️ Stay blessed, David.
💗
Woah…. this is utterly amazing! I feel like my own poems have been experiencing something similar recently… this is very very cool. Great storytelling!
Flattery will get you everywhere, Lia 😉
Yours,
David
Ha! Well I’m honestly not trying to get anywhere with it… unless it’s in your good graces. ;)) Seriously though… I meant those words. Always do. My communication’s not always great… but I try. Your likes sometimes bring me here, and I’m always interested… and usually surprised. :))
I was just being silly – I very much appreciate your feedback, Lia 🙂
-David
Yay. 🤗🎉🥳🎶
Love the personification of the poem… maybe she needs a “little space”
Yeah. He probably needs to sort out his issues before the relationship can continue forward in a healthy manner 😀
-David
Inspiring, this is amazing!
That is very sweet of you. Thank you!
-David
[…] Change, or: Estrange […]