Quiet place

Posted on February 16, 2021February 16, 2021 by ben Alexander

A d’Verse prosery prompt

Down the block from my city apartment, the mack was pimping underage girls. The street was getting to me; all the animals; whores, hustlers, thugs, junkies, sick, venal. War had been less filthy than this hell, but I tried to keep my food down. I had been losing weight.

Only Iris sensed my despair. She sat me down to have it out, suggested some New Agey exercises to calm my mind. I smiled. Good kid, Iris. Gave me an idea, actually.

Measuring my breaths, I holstered my Ruger and turned left out from my apartment. As I walked, I visualized my quiet place, just like she’d said; I went out to the hazel wood, because a fire was in my head. I had to. The slick fuck thought I was just another customer and winked at me.

That’s when I blew his brains out.

It’s prosery time at d’Verse. The rules are simple:

Use an assigned line in the body of your prose. You may change the punctuation and capitalization, but you are not allowed to insert any words within the line itself. You can add words at the beginning and/or at the end of the line; but the line itself must remain intact.
Your prose can be either flash fiction, nonfiction, or creative nonfiction. YOU CAN NOT WRITE A POEM for this prompt. AND, your prose should be no longer than 144 words, sans title. It does not have to be exactly 144 words. But it can be no longer than 144 words.

The assigned line was:

I went out to the hazel wood,
Because a fire was in my head
-William Butler Yeats, ‘The Song of Wandering Aengus’ (a poem)

52 thoughts on “Quiet place”

Wow amazing piece David… Dark and edgy. I really like it. Surprise ending which is awesome 😊🌹

ben Alexander February 16, 202115:51

Thanks so much, Amirah – I was definitely hoping that the ending would catch ppl by surprise ❤

Yours,
David

I think we’ve all felt this urge. Some people have forfeited their right to exist. (K)

ben Alexander February 16, 202115:50

I have this urge more often than I care to admit – sometimes I really feel murderous!

-David
1. memadtwo February 17, 202104:51
  
  I’m trying to learn to control my anger, or at least channel it into something productive. Not easy.

Great !

ben Alexander February 16, 202115:50

Thanks, Aparna ❤

-David

Wowza!! The last paragraph caught me off guard!! Nice!! ♥️

ben Alexander February 16, 202112:17

Thanks, Diana 😁

I like this, David.

ben Alexander February 16, 202111:55

Thanks, Punam!
1. paeansunplugged February 16, 202112:01
  
  You are welcome.

That’s the second piece with edge today, David, and I thoroughly enjoyed it! You’ve taken Yeats and turned his words into a CSI story. I love the way you explore the character, hinting at his past in ‘War had been less filthy than this hell’ and the fact that he had been losing weight, and the way you introduce Iris as an antidote – although the ending was not what Iris would have wanted.

ben Alexander February 16, 202115:49

Thanks so much, Kim. I literally watched the movie taxi driver minutes before writing this so my inspiration came directly from that movie!

Yours,
David

Wow! I loved your style of writing here. The start of a novel maybe? Well done David.

ben Alexander February 16, 202109:26

well, I think that’s been done, but I can still play at being an “author”, right, Christine? 🤪

Thanks so much!
David
1. Christine Bolton, Poetry for Healing February 16, 202117:02
  
  Oh yes you should. You write so well ☺️
  1. ben Alexander February 16, 202117:04
    
    🥰