Long lonely tendril, or: Poetry upon water

Posted on by ben Alexander

A ‘Magnetic Poem’ tanka

Wanna try? Click here.

dark dusk colored clouds
sweetly secret soft sun shine
loving light beneath
grows like long lonely tendril
poetry upon water

Notes

  • Once again, I stuck with the ‘Nature Poet’ virtual magnet set for this poem; but I am ready to move on, I think, particularly because it seems that no changes are made in the sets of word magnets available to me week after week;
  • This week, I opted for a tanka, rather than a haiku, which was more challenging, given the limited amount of magnets;
    • Tanka traditionally have a ‘turn’ in the 3rd line, which I attempted to employ, transitioning from the sun above to its light upon the waters;
  • For this particular poem, I drew inspiration from my own haibun, which I wrote just last week;
  • That haibun of mine led me to search for and discover the stunning sunset photograph above, which I then attempted to portray in this tanka.

44 thoughts on “Long lonely tendril, or: Poetry upon water”

    1. Erlyn, you should see my first attempt ~ it was really awkward because I tried to use all of the words at once, instead of cycling through them and picking out the ones that spoke to me. It just takes a bit of getting used to 🙂

  4. Really I testing. I discovered Haiku only a few months ago and have not yet experimented with the other forms of Japanese poetry you mention. Love your blog.

    1. Marian – all of this is very new to me too! I’m not particularly comfortable with these Japanese poetry forms, but I’m trying to improve! The Magnetic Poetry website is a terrific exercise for me.

      Thank you for your kind comment!

      Yours,
      David

        4. Hehe… That’s ok!! I should have learnt it though. I have been born and raised in the Gulf but never managed to pick up reading, writing or speaking Arabic. How tragic, right?!

        5. That’s so interesting! I wish I could comfortably converse in Arabic, but I’m very very limited. Alas!

          What languages besides English do you read/ write/ speak? Hindi, I assume (since your family lives in India)?

  7. Lovely Tanka, David. I like writing both haikus and tankas. I also like cinquains. Palindromes are a challenge, but I have enjoyed writing them. I tried my hand at a classic sonnet in my last post but found iambic pentameter too confining, did not like the flow it produced, and it was very time-consuming I did learn a lot from the attempt but ended up rewriting the poem. I thought your sonnet came out well. All the best! ❤

    1. Cheryl, I’ve only written 1 or 2 sonnets, and I agree – very restrictive! But I’m stubborn… I may try another one. I had this silly idea the other day to write a “hate sonnet” instead of a “love sonnet”

      🤪
      David

  8. I like those last 2 lines especially. Intellectually, I know the words are always the same, but different ones speak to me each week. I also vary which set I use. I find the geek and mustache ones challenging, but I use them every once in awhile. If I ever get my things out of storage, I have actual magnetic tiles for use on refrigerator or filing cabinet, which have whole other sets of words. And then of course there is my collage box oracle. So many choices! (K)

    1. Maybe I should use a different set too, at least a few times… these nature terms are starting to feel a bit stale to me. Your collages are out of this world, Kerfe – I have no such talent.

      Yours,
      David

      1. Thanks David. I’ve been doing them for 50 years. But you should try it–you might be surprised. And it always focuses me, even if just for a little while. The great thing is that if you’re not happy with it you can always either glue more images on top, or cut it up and rearrange it to see what happens.

  12. I understood the poem as per my capacity!
    Matching with the ‘Photo giving a little Idea of the Power of ” NATURE ”
    Let me share- 🌞 sunshine is my Topmost power

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