Internal obstacles to writing this entry
I’ve been thinking of writing an ethical will entry on education for some time now, but it’s been challenging for me to begin. For me, there are three obstacles:
- The strong personal association I draw between Judaism and placing a high value on education, which I worry may come across as off-putting to some;
- Not relating to many of the traditional Jewish source texts on education;
- My personal experiences with [higher] education, which did not [ultimately] serve me well, as a result of my poor decision-making.
Fortuitously, I recently came across a short talk by Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks zt”l on Animalizard’s blog, which gave me the language I needed to overcome that first internal barrier, and this, in turn, gave me the motivation to push through the others.
Jews and education
This is the part that makes me uncomfortable to share, but it will, in part, showing you where I am coming from.
Jews, as a religious group, really, really, really prioritize education, and this has been true throughout our history (as far as I know). The ‘People of the Book’ have long valued literacy. It feels haughty to me to make mention of this, but it’s simply true, even in the modern day. In 2016, the Pew Research Center published its study on ‘Religion and Education Around the World’, which found that:
When measured by years of formal schooling, Jews have the highest average educational attainment, while Muslims and Hindus have the lowest. Christians have the second highest average years of schooling, followed by religiously unaffiliated adults and then Buddhists.–Pew Research Center, 2016
This cultural emphasis on education played a major part in my upbringing. My father and mother were both highly educated, well read and sophisticated, as was most of our extended family on either side. I grew up fully expecting that college and graduate school awaited me after high school. In my mind, it was only a matter of deciding whether to be a doctor, lawyer, professor or engineer.
A joke to lighten [the/my] mood
This reminds me of a classic Jewish joke, which some of you may be already familiar with:
The First Jewish President
The first Jewish president calls up his mother and invites her over for Passover. Characteristically, his mother immediately begins complaining.
“Oy, I’ll need to book a flight and it’s going to cost so much – it is just too much of a bother.”
Her son counters, “Mom! I’m the President! I’ll hire a private jet for you!”
“Oy, I’ll need to catch a taxi and carry my luggage. It’s just too much!”
“Mom! I’m the President! I’ll pick you up in my limo! Then my guards will carry your luggage for you!”
“Oy, I’ll need to book a hotel.”
“Mom! Don’t be ridiculous! I’m the President! You can stay at the White House!”
“Okay, fine,” she finally acquiesces.
Two minutes later her friend Sophie calls.
“So, Miriam, what’s new?”
“Oy, I’m going to my son for Passover.”
“Who, the doctor?”
“No, the other one.”
Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks zt”l on being Jewish
An important clarification
I am a Jew, not because I believe that Judaism contains all there is of the human story. I admire other traditions and their contributions to the world… Nor is it because I think that Jews are better than others, more intelligent, creative, generous, or successful…
These words can be heard spoken by Rabbi Sacks zt”l in the video below.
‘Why I am a Jew’ by Rabbi Jonathan Sacks zt”l
Education as a sacred task
Among the many reasons (and I do suggest that you watch the video in its entirety) that Rabbi Sacks zt”l gives for his being Jewish is this one, which resonates deeply with me:
Jews, though they lacked all else, never ceased to value education as a sacred task, endowing the individual with dignity and depth…
It’s not a matter of my people being better than another. It’s a matter, as Rabbi Sacks zt”l aptly puts it, of that which is uniquely my people’s:
I admire other civilizations and traditions; I believe each has brought something special into the world… but this is ours.
Jewish source texts
Some that don’t work for me…
As you may imagine, there are a lot of ancient Jewish sources that deal with education, particularly in relation to a father educating his son, and with a particular emphasis on discipline and ‘not sparing the rod’. For example, Proverb 13:24:
|חוֹשֵׂךְ שִׁבְטוֹ, שׂוֹנֵא בְנוֹ; וְאֹהֲבוֹ, שִׁחֲרוֹ מוּסָר.||He who spares the rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him early.|
Color me modern, but I would never lift a hand against any child of mine; and beyond that, I fundamentally reject the Bible’s expectations of a child, as stated quite plainly in Proverbs 29:15:
|שֵׁבֶט וְתוֹכַחַת, יִתֵּן חָכְמָה; וְנַעַר מְשֻׁלָּח, מֵבִישׁ אִמּוֹ.||The rod and reproof give wisdom; but a child left to himself causes his mother shame.|
I cite these texts because pretending that they do not exist would be dishonest, as I want to ground my ‘ethical will’ in my tradition. However, the thrust of the approach above to education leaves me feeling cold, for such biblical sources are simply ancient and in no way reflect my thinking or perceptions. While I must, of course, allow for cultural and other historical developments, I nonetheless find this attitude towards pedagogy entirely unrelatable.
There are, of course, other Jewish texts on education, many of which focus on the study of particular religious texts and the performance of particular religious rituals at particular ages, but these are not so relevant to my thoughts on education in general.
… and some that do
I have already written my ‘ethical will’ entry on the importance of raising individuals, which includes a traditional Jewish text on pedagogy, also from the Book of Proverbs (22:6), which strongly speaks to me:
|חֲנֹ֣ךְ לַ֭נַּעַר עַל־פִּ֣י דַרְכּ֑וֹ גַּ֥ם כִּֽי־יַ֝זְקִ֗ין לֹֽא־יָס֥וּר מִמֶּֽנָּה׃||Educate a youth according to his way; he will not swerve from it even in old age.|
Now, while every child has their individual strengths and weaknesses, the Jewish sages thought it necessary to suggest four models of learners. The following source comes to us from a text known as the ‘Ethics of the Fathers’ (5:15), which is more precisely translated as ‘Chapters of the Fathers’:
|אַרְבַּע מִדּוֹת בְּיוֹשְׁבִים לִפְנֵי חֲכָמִים: סְפוֹג, וּמַשְׁפֵּךְ, מְשַׁמֶּֽרֶת, וְנָפָה. סְפוֹג, שֶׁהוּא סוֹפֵג אֶת הַכֹּל. וּמַשְׁפֵּךְ, שֶׁמַּכְנִיס בְּזוֹ וּמוֹצִיא בְזוֹ. מְשַׁמֶּֽרֶת, שֶׁמּוֹצִיאָה אֶת הַיַּֽיִן וְקוֹלֶֽטֶת אֶת הַשְּׁמָרִים. וְנָפָה, שֶׁמּוֹצִיאָה אֶת הַקֶּֽמַח וְקוֹלֶֽטֶת אֶת הַסּֽוֹלֶת:||There are four types among those who sit before the sages: the sponge, the funnel, the strainer and the sieve. The sponge absorbs all. The funnel takes in at one end and lets it out the other. The strainer lets out the wine and retains the sediment. The sieve lets out the coarse flour and retains the fine flour.|
What I particularly appreciate about this 2nd source is that it feels to me like the early stages (200 CE) of an attempt to develop an inclusive pedagogic program that takes different learning styles into account. One may dismiss the categories as overly simplistic, perhaps, but the rabbis’ articulation of their collective concern and consideration is important.
While the Jewish tradition’s sources on education are rather a mixed bag, I find these last two very gratifying and relatable.
In 7th grade I had an especially fantastic English teacher (Mrs. Stephanie Margolies) who metaphorically “gifted” each of her students an object from her classroom at the end of the year and explained the symbolism behind each of her personal “gifts” to us. She bequeathed upon me the large sponge that she used for washing the blackboard because, as she explained, I was endlessly asking questions during class.
The text above from the ‘Ethics of our Fathers’ has made me think about being a sponge in another way that I also find myself relating to. It’s the idea that the sponge absorbs everything – both good and bad – with no filter. Everything goes in and gets mixed around with everything else.
This trait is something that I find myself continuing to struggle with – I’m constantly absorbing bits of information from everywhere and everyone, and I’m always curious about everything at once, seeking clarification of even the most minor details. It makes focusing on any one thing for an extended period of time very difficult for me, and when I manage to focus on something, I get very annoyed with anyone or anything that distracts me (although I have gotten much better at not expressing my frustration).
I get bored of doing one thing for too long because everything else around me is interesting all the time. In fact, I have subconsciously taught myself to entirely avoid exploring certain things because I would never get anything done otherwise. This is essentially a defense mechanism for me – the choice to ignore certain aspects of the world entirely.
It was a terrible mistake for me to pursue my undergraduate degree in engineering because I was never interested in it; the world around me was much more fascinating. My graduate degree in public policy was a step in the right direction because it broadened my understanding and appreciation of how my society operated, but ending up behind a desk at the U.S. Department of Energy sent me towards depression – it was not long before I became bored out of my mind.
Even now, I’m not sure what choices I should have made as a young man, in terms of my higher education, but taking off some time before entering college would have been a wise move for me. I think that it’s not only on our parents to treat us as individuals, but also on us to actively seek to better understand ourselves. Education remains, unquestionably, a top priority for me; but it must not be embarked upon merely for the sake of diplomas and credentials, as I did.
53 thoughts on “Ethical will: Education”
Your ethical will is inspiring. Thank you for posting and for your example.
💕 Thanks, Janis! 💕
My grandparents told me: “They can take away your house, they can take away your freedom, but they can’t take away your education.”
Where were they from?
so, I have just bought and received a book on women and ethical will – as a journey with writing project. Had looked up your posts on the subject to place this comment. 😉
Author Rachel Freed.
Shall come back to this.
The video was amazing. I was raised on the fringe of religion due to family dramas. Thanks to my grandparents I loved the inclusion of feeling Jewish. My brothers and I were raised to know that higher education was not an option. Raised in poverty, we all eventually found a way to reach our goal of attaining a master’s degree.
Wow; that’s amazing – especially that you all felt that same drive to earn a higher education, Lauren.
We all arrived in different ways at at different times. None of us took a straight path, but we got there.
why do you think you guys had that drive if it wasn’t encouraged in you?
My grandparents always told us the only way to get ahead was through schooling. Neither of my parents went to college. My mother always told us we had to have a skill and college was what she expected of us. When I was a teen, I graduated a year early and contacted bio-dad at the insistence of his mother. I asked if he was going to help with college as he always told her he was going to do. I explained that I was going to a JC first to make it affordable. It was so hard for me to make that call. He informed me that he would not help with college because I would probably end up working in a car wash and that would be a waste of his money. Like I’ve said before he was a charmer.
Maybe his total lack of confidence in me was an extra push for me to get my degree. While raising children I took classes whenever I could. I finished my degree right before my 30th birthday. I was so happy. His comment to my grandmother then was that I probably thought I was better than others because I finished. Nothing could have been further from the truth. I knew my degree meant a good job, and a good future for my children.
Wow; what a story, Lauren. That’s powerful. I know this may sound dumb, but I’m proud of you.
It does not sound dumb. I am proud of me too. It is funny that because of you I was thinking back to my first loving poetry. I was in high school and I wrote a lot of poems and free verse. Again, my grandmother requested that I send some to bio-dad. She never lost hope that he would want to be a father to me. I continued to write to him until she passed. Then I no longer felt the need to do so. I mailed him some of my poems and I received a letter from him asking why I was wasting time in school on such a stupid thing like poetry. I foolishly stopped writing any more poems because of the pain he caused. I was always thinking things in my head though. Poetry and making up my own lyrics to songs was always who I was. I tucked it away for a very long time.
Did your bio-Dad have a specific psychological or psychiatric problem that you know of, Lauren?
Never labeled. A narcissist to be sure though.
This is an endless debate in our family–practical education, or following your interests? My parents made such a fuss about my desire for art school that I never did go, opting for the more practical fashion instead. I still regret it, even though designing allowed me to work freelance and raise my children myself. Well, my father didn’t even think women should go to college. He was the first in his family to get past 8th grade, so I guess that made sense. I see valuing education as a very positive thing. (K)
Thanks for sharing, Kerfe. Do you think that the idea that women shouldn’t get an education is a generational issue?
I’m not sure. Middle class New Yorkers of all stripes value education. I do have cousins (not city people) whose children, male and female, joined the army after high school so they would have a job. But then half my cousins, both male and female, are not college-educated either.
These ethical will posts are intended for your daughter & any future children, correct?
Husband has a reservation similar to #3 in your obstacles list, in that he doesn’t think he can tell our hypothetical future children about the importance of education given his (in his opinion only) poor educational and career path choices. I find it odd because, based solely on what I admire about my dad now and what I admired about him when I was a kid, I just don’t think children perceive our “mistakes” in the same way that we do. I still think my dad is one of the smartest (he is highly educated, but his knowledge goes beyond that), and easily the most religious (he did not have a rigorous Jewish education and is not Orthodox) person that I have ever met. And yes, I am probably biased (as your daughter will be as well)!
How did you get the Hebrew and English of your sources to line up so nicely?
I use the HTML block to create tables for Hebrew sources on WordPress.
Also, your father is the most religious person you know? Really? Wow. That’s amazing.
I’ve really never met anyone else who has the belief in G-d that he does and who truly lives by it in the way that he does. It’s really quite remarkable. Shabbat Shalom!!
From one sponge to another, I totally get it. Your introspective describes me perfectly:
“I’m constantly absorbing bits of information from everywhere and everyone, and I’m always curious about everything at once, seeking clarification of even the most minor details. It makes focusing on any one thing for an extended period of time very difficult for me, and when I manage to focus on something, I get very annoyed with anyone or anything that distracts me.”
This curiosity served me well in the corporate world but drives my family crazy.
Gail, your comment made me laugh aloud – I totally get what you’re saying! 😀