Sorrow, or: Tomorrow

Posted on by ben Alexander

My 2nd Awdl Gwydd

Massaging words into verse ~
this blasted curse Life gave me;
Prose oft feels... not... quite... enough
to set this stuffed up mind free

Sometimes, smooth stanzas don't flow
to my deep woe and sorrow;
But when rhymes thwart this tired quill,
there still awaits tomorrow

Dissatisfaction with the 1st

I just recently discovered Welsh forms of poetry and have been rather smitten by them.

Yesterday’s Awdl Gwydd (my first), which I titled ‘Form, or: Substance’, left me feeling somewhat dissatisfied (particularly with with the 2nd stanza), regardless of how much I attempted to massage it.

Writing this, my 2nd Awdl Gwydd, felt redemptive 😊

40 thoughts on “Sorrow, or: Tomorrow”

  1. Well penned David. I enjoy all the verses. If I had to choose; i like💖

    Sometimes, smooth stanzas don’t flow
    to my deep woe and sorrow;
    But when rhymes thwart this tired quill,
    there still awaits tomorrow

    Love the lyrical, musical quality of it.

    Also, I was stunned by your point that yesterday’s offering did not meet your satisfaction in the second stanza. I must have read a different poem.! For I thought that Form or: Substance’s second stanza was great.

    Again, really well done. Cheers

    1. You’re very kind as always, Suzette.

      I don’t hate that second stanza in my first Awdl Gwydd, but it does read rather choppily to me, which is ironic (and fitting) given the subject matter of the poem. I worked and reworked it, but the rhyme scheme is fairly limiting, and the final result still feels uncomfortable to me every time I read it.

      But it’s okay – I’m just trying all of these new forms out for the first time anyway 😀

      🧸
      David

  5. Ah yes, how disappointment is part of creating. It’s frustrating when a piece of writing or drawing doesn’t quite come out as I had hoped. But then, surprises can pop up. And, as you noted, tomorrow awaits for another try at it. Optimism helps 🙂

  9. Me too, I love how the first Awdl Gwydd grows on me.
    The P’raps at the beginning of the second stanza is perfectly minted. Exquisitely crafted indeed.
    The first cut is the deepest.
    Redemption… what a feeling…the second Awdl Gwydd carries us into that place where intimate oils are prepared.
    Much respect.

    1. Abi, I actually love when that happens to me – when I read a poem and find that I enjoyed it more the second time than I did the first.

      Thank you so much, as always ❤

      Yours,
      David

      1. Oh yes it speaks to great poetry.
        You were just mentioning how the vast number of humans are inspired by the old poets….they grow on you.

        You welcome David

    1. I think I need to let that one rest, at least for now, Dolly – right now it feels that I can only “fix” it by entirely rewriting it, which I really don’t want to do.

      ❤
      David

        1. Raman, there are really two factors (I think)

          1) Create content that other people want to read, and

          2) Interact with other bloggers on their blogs and on your own blog in a meaningful way that makes them want to reciprocate and read your blog too.

          That’s what I’ve been doing for the past year, since I created my blog.

          Sincerely,
          David

    1. Thanks so much, Rabbit 🙂

      Your reaction is interesting – to me, it feels real – because that’s really how I was feeling about writing poetry at the time (and in the previous poem too). I guess ‘fresh’ is a good word – as in: a bit ‘raw’ …

      Sincerely,
      David

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