withapparatuson head, bare arm and fingers,
aching man's tongue pants,
chants soaring worship language
to need's elaborate beat
Notes
For this poem, I decided to stick with the ‘Original Set’ on the Magnetic Poetry website, as I did for my sexy vampire poem last time;
Having used this same set just recently, it was easier for me to find words that were compatible with one another at the first;
Actually, I pulled a lot of words out of the set that did not make their ways into the poem at all, but I wanted to see all of them together before deciding which ones to use;
As I’ve written before, the extra two lines (14 syllables) provide me with a greater challenge, as well as with a larger canvas for my word-brush;
I searched for and found the featured image of the phylacteries on a man’s arm at the start, as soon as I decided to make use of the words ‘apparatus’,‘arm’ and ‘fingers’;
I felt this to be important because many of my readers don’t know what Jewish tefillin (i.e. phylacteries) are, nor what they look like;
From the perspective of writing universally appealing poetry, this is clearly not a very relatable thing to write about, but, as Mark Twain said, “Write what you know.”
This is very cool, and I also loved the factoid about the mindfulness-aiding prayer apparatus. Side note: it’s also always nice if one can claim a “my sexy vampire poem” in one’s roster. ๐๐ :)) xoxo
indeedโฃ๏ธ
Thanks, Liaโฃ๏ธ
I saw “aching man’s tongue pants” and my first thought was “Whoa, whose tongue is in whose pants during davening?!” and “what kind of shul is this?!”
And then I re-read the poem and I realized that was not at all what your meant.
๐คก JYP ๐คก
That’s standard here in Israel!
I have been to shul in Israel (Tel Aviv and Ma’ale Adumim) and I did not witness any of that.
Ritual life is constantly developing, you know.
Ha!
(chants soaring worship language
to need’s elaborate beat)
This is just some kinda wonderful poetry
Need’s elaborate beat – what a prayer , all encompassing
I simply love the reminder and influence of Phylacteries
๐๐ค Abi ๐ค๐
I like how this magnetic poetry can cause unusual phrases. “aching man’s tongue pants” is one of those kind of lines that made me stop and re-read it, to make sure I saw it correctly. And what an image it conjures!
Yeah, Magnetic Poetry really makes you think about what you’re trying to get across within those very strict limitations – many words that you might want to use – simply don’t exist in the set at all!
Thanks, Dave!
-David
wow David; following your example, I have just created my first experimental haiku with the magnets – whereas previously I failed to share an attempt at one in any shape or form, this one worked – a little: At least I was able to she the link in a wp post. The theme is a continued one – a child without religion full of hope, not knowing in what…
๐ Barbara ๐
Could you please share the link to that poem?
… thought I had, let me check… ๐
yes it’s up on my blog solitary … celebrate herat – first magnetic poem ๐
It’s really good ~ you’re a natural!
go away – you have me blushing; thank you, Dsvid. ๐
you’re getting so good at this! ๐
you mean praying? ๐
Writing but praying is a great add on as well!!!
๐คก
๐ค
Wonderful!
๐ค Dolly ๐ค
Keep writingโ๏ธ๐.
๐
This is very cool, and I also loved the factoid about the mindfulness-aiding prayer apparatus. Side note: it’s also always nice if one can claim a “my sexy vampire poem” in one’s roster. ๐๐ :)) xoxo
indeedโฃ๏ธ
Thanks, Liaโฃ๏ธ
I saw “aching man’s tongue pants” and my first thought was “Whoa, whose tongue is in whose pants during davening?!” and “what kind of shul is this?!”
And then I re-read the poem and I realized that was not at all what your meant.
๐คก JYP ๐คก
That’s standard here in Israel!
I have been to shul in Israel (Tel Aviv and Ma’ale Adumim) and I did not witness any of that.
Ritual life is constantly developing, you know.
Ha!
(chants soaring worship language
to need’s elaborate beat)
This is just some kinda wonderful poetry
Need’s elaborate beat – what a prayer , all encompassing
I simply love the reminder and influence of Phylacteries
๐๐ค Abi ๐ค๐
I like how this magnetic poetry can cause unusual phrases. “aching man’s tongue pants” is one of those kind of lines that made me stop and re-read it, to make sure I saw it correctly. And what an image it conjures!
Yeah, Magnetic Poetry really makes you think about what you’re trying to get across within those very strict limitations – many words that you might want to use – simply don’t exist in the set at all!
Thanks, Dave!
-David
wow David; following your example, I have just created my first experimental haiku with the magnets – whereas previously I failed to share an attempt at one in any shape or form, this one worked – a little: At least I was able to she the link in a wp post. The theme is a continued one – a child without religion full of hope, not knowing in what…
๐ Barbara ๐
Could you please share the link to that poem?
… thought I had, let me check… ๐
yes it’s up on my blog solitary … celebrate herat – first magnetic poem ๐
It’s really good ~ you’re a natural!
go away – you have me blushing; thank you, Dsvid. ๐
โค