A ‘Magnetic Poem’ tanka
Wanna try? Click here.
why elaborate?
frantic whispers screaming stop
we like want need our
picture of a peachy life
as he beats her bloody raw
Notes
- This poem was inspired by The Paltry Sum’s blog post: ‘Marriage is Murder’;
- For this poem, I decided to make use of the ‘Original Set’ on the Magnetic Poetry website;
- I once again opted for a tanka, rather than a haiku;
- The extra two lines (14 syllables) provide a greater challenge, as well as a larger canvas;
- I searched for and found the featured image only after I had written the entire tanka.
Dear David,
Thank you. The humanity which was taken away from me was given back in part by your poem. For that gift I can only offer my thanks and appreciation.
😞 TPS 😞
Be happy, friend! It is a good thing to get it out into the light and feel like I am not completely thrown out of society and the world around me. I feel a little closer, a little less thrown out alone and that is precious.
I’m glad. And glad that you have the strength to take such an attitude.
BRINGS shudders to my body and soul.. sooo sad these despicable acts!
💖
It’s literally evil.
😢😢😢
Very dark and visceral. Tragic this violence is too real for too many.
😦 Yes, it is. 😦
People ask, why do you stay, but there really is no escape. Women who have orders of protection get murdered all the time. And children multiply the complications. Even in “civilized” societies, men are always given the benefit of the doubt. A normal exterior is no guarantee against abuse, both physical and psychological. It’s always the woman’s fault. Which is why most rapes are never reported. (K)
😔 😔 Kerfe 😔 😔
Not a beautiful poem, and not expected to be either. Expresses in raw words the sordid abuse which such a intimate relationship should be devoid of, but sadly present in many.
I often wonder what can cause such heinous actions David! I knew one such person in real life, and he was the gentlest of people in public life.
I cannot relate to it, Deb. I once, while sitting on my chair before my computer, swatted my wife away (she was standing next to me) because I was annoyed by something she said… and I swatted harder than I’d intended. I didn’t hurt her (I asked), but she was stunned and upset at me… and I still feel guilty about that.
That… We all have our moments of swatting and being swatted in return 🙂 – not excusing the action but we are human and this is a real relation without pretence!
The harm is done when the hurt is intentionally to degrade someone.
Right – I’m just giving an example of how foreign this kind of mentality is to me. It’s insane.
Absolutely understand your point David and appreciate, and we have our beautifull daughters to take care of! It worries me many times…
I thought of that too, Deb
😟
David
What a nightmare situation for anyone to be in and there’s no waking up from it for some.
I was intrigued to see how you formed your poem with the use of a kit. It works well though I expect a lot of work still goes into it and not as easy as it sounds. 😀
Lesley – the magnets (which you can play with online) are a very good exercise for me – attempting to express myself with a limited selection of words really makes me think about what I am really trying to say – and what connotations every single available magnet word carries with it. It’s fun!
❤
David
That makes sense, David. It also sounds like fun! I think I’ll look into it. Thank you!
Painful to read because unfortunately such situations are not uncommon.
painful to write too, Ingrid 😦
I still can’t get TPS’s post out of my mind.
Short, but not so sweet…more like a fist to the gut.
Great work!
🤍 Kathy 🤍
💙
Oh this is awful but at the same time deeply true despite knowing that you created from a random(ish) selection of words presented to you on a screen.
I’d been thinking about it for more than a day after reading The Paltry Sum’s blog post, which I linked to at the bottom of my blog post…
😦
David
Oh gosh. I hadn’t seen the link. That poor woman. How awful. I couldn’t read it. So disturbing, unjust, inhumane, awful, awful, awful.
A hard one for me to read. Well done with the topic though.
🙏 Lauren 🙏
This is a most unnerving poem. Mostly because we don’t want to think about the violence that possibly occurs behind closed doors in what we idealize as a “nice, quiet, neighborhood”.
Exactly, Muri 😞
Glad to hear the site’s up again. Powerful tanka.
💛 Lisa 💛
Bloody raw indeed. And raw feelings so well expressed.
The Paltry Sum’s post, which I linked to, really hit me hard, George.
😢
David
The reaction to being abused by a family member is often shame, especially if a man is being abused by a woman. The victim often thinks it’s their fault and both want to pretend, as you said, that things are “peachy.” An informative and well-written poem, David. You have proven that magnetic poetry can be used to write about serious subjects. 🙂
All the best!
It’s a horrible, difficult subject, Cheryl, but I was really affected by The Paltry Sum’s blog post, which I linked to at the bottom. That such things happen borders on the surreal.
💔
David
I went back and read this incredible post, David. Yes, surreal is an apt description!