My 2nd trimeric
a self-aware poem may be
one whose words and form are
two lovers aching to become
three to share their love
one whose words and form are
in harmony pierces swiftly
the disconsolate soul
two lovers aching to become
happy again must heed
one another's pain
three to share their love
penning their own poem
mother; father; God
d’Verse
At d’Verse, we were prompted to write a trimeric, which I had only done once before.
In the Babylonian Talmud, Tractate Kiddushin 30b, it reads as follows:
| ת”ר שלשה שותפין הן באדם הקב”ה ואביו ואמו בזמן שאדם מכבד את אביו ואת אמו אמר הקב”ה מעלה אני עליהם כאילו דרתי ביניהם וכבדוני | Our Rabbis taught: There are three partners in man, the Holy One, blessed be He, the father, and the mother. When a man honors his father and his mother, the Holy One, blessed be He, says: ‘I ascribe [merit] to them as though I had dwelt among them and they had honored Me.’ |
I was blessed by a call from my elder son yesterday, and content that his younger brother texted me. Children can be great… and greatly challenging ~
I love how you weaved it together… the final lines made a lot of sense, made me think of the song of songs.
💕Björn💕
David, this was very moving, with quite a depth of perspective — and very beautiful my ftiend!
❤ Rob, thank you so, so much ❤
A lovely prayer, with a clever use of the form to count us through.
The counting was the beginning of my creative process – the rest flowed from there, Alexandra ❤
-David
Nice. It really works.
Mother, father, God– Yes, like so! Lovely.
❤ thank you, Selma ❤
Stunning one, David. Poetry breathes in you! ❤️❤️
❤ much love to you, Diana ❤
So touching David and love the trimeric..
oh the birthing days so wonderful…. so much promise.
💖
❤ you're very sweet, Cindy ❤
This is gorgeously rendered 💝💝 I especially admire; “one whose words and form are in harmony pierces swiftly the disconsolate soul.”
❤ Sanaa, that's my favorite line too! ❤
I like how the words disconsolate and soul sound together!
-David
The emotion does build up, gradually and tenderly. The last line took me by surprise; I think along a parallel line 🙂
I really like the idea… and I’m not so God-oriented, as I think you know, Jane… but it’s a lovely thought.
❤
David
The whole poem is love-ly
Ben this is simply gorgeous, life-affirming …. thank you.
💚 Helen 💚
Loved the second stanza! The use of words is so apt there 🙂
I like that one especially too, Rahul.
❤ ❤ ❤
David
Such a thoughtful and gentle trimeric – these lines in particular struck me : ‘one whose words and form are
in harmony pierces swiftly the disconsolate soul’.
Thank you so very much, Marion
❤
David
Everything about this is beautifully crafted. And the emotion builds into that potent final stanza. (K)
🧡 Thank you so much, Kerfe 🧡