Rite, or: Passage

A ‘Waltz wave’

heav-
ing nau-
se-
a, head
spinning from
the booze,
he
slumped a-
gainst the stall,
retching onto
the toilet
lid and
his
loafers,
pulled himself
up and
slipped
on vom-
it

38 thoughts on “Rite, or: Passage”

  1. Surely the only time the word vomit has been split for the purposes of poetry!๐Ÿ˜

    1. Me too! I checked every word for its syllable count and was very please to see that it’s technically 3 syllables… after that, it was a matter of figuring out where to put it in the poem so that it would break into 3 ๐Ÿ˜€

      1. I think I had eaten too much and a glass of Mandarin juice was just too much. I barely got to the loo and did a lot of deck swabbing before crawling back in bed.

  2. I recommend not over drinking. That poem painted a picture I have seen to often as a kid. I suppose everyone gets drunk once. Arenโ€™t people suppose to drink a raw egg or something. Glad it wasnโ€™t you David. Sending you and your family my love. โค๏ธโค๏ธJoni

    1. yep – this was pure fiction, Joni – don’t worry about me ๐Ÿ˜€

      I’m just a middle-aged fuddy duddy who has a whiskey at night every so often.

      โค
      David

      1. I never thought it was you David. I can tell by reading your work you are way too good a father and husband to be a drunk. I am sorry if I gave you that impression. I can be too literal at times. You can tell a lot about people you get to know on line. I can sense that you are a good man and a loving father. You are also a very good writer as I got an excellent sense of being right there with your story. Sending you and your family love and blessings from God. โค๏ธ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ™ Joni

      1. Worcestershire sauce was never heard of in Russia, until now, but pickling brine is mentioned in sources dating back to the Great Princes, before Ivan the Terrible. Sounds just as yucky, though.

  3. Hehe! So much for a calming topic! But then I suppose the stomach was feeling calmer after expelling the offending contents…

    1. well – I had two thoughts – the first was whether a non-calming topic could work with the waltz wave… and the second one was how to play with the theme of waves itself…

    1. Thanks, Shashi ๐Ÿ˜€

      I thought of this because the “waves” in the poem made me reflect upon different kinds of waves, and “waves of nausea” came to my mind…

      All best โค
      David

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