Famished, or: Frozen

My 1st novelinee

My parched throat stings; and when I try to form,
Nought comes forth but heaving; this painful rasp.
Metaphor locusts consume in their swarm...
Depleted... whence... that... dry, terrible gasp?
In this verse desert, there are not enough *
I'm searching but cannot find quite the right *
Damn... did it ring sweetly...? was it a rough *
I... did it... rhyme loosely...? was... it the tight... *
In//spi//ra//tion\ \fro//zen... in... dead//est\ \night

d’Verse prompt:

‘Something Novel in Lines’

Since today is the 9th of the 9th month it is fitting for that numeral to inform today’s d’Verse poetry form – so let’s meet the novelinee!

The novelinee is a nine-line stanza overlaid with this rhyme sequence: a,b,a,b,c,d,c,d,d in 10-syllable lines (decasyllabic) with alternate stresses (iambic pentameter).

68 thoughts on “Famished, or: Frozen”

  1. David ben Alexander,
    Even as you pretend to struggle with form, the form behaves itself most submissively beneath your fingers. Brilliant.
    pax,
    dora

            1. I’m really into names πŸ™‚

              Most Americans spell the name ‘Leora’, but transliteration and accuracy are important to me – so, letter-by-letter, ‘Liorah’ is more precise, and more distinctly Jewish to my mind.

              ❀
              David

              1. Oh yes. It has resonances with Deborah and of course Sarah, but there is an American flavor as well and I like that mingling. Names are mystical, of great power. Liorah is blessed to have had such care taken over hers. ❀️

                  1. Perfect. I know Dora means “gift” in Greek but by far prefer ‘the light of God’ association of ‘orah’. David, May Liorah find her name to be a rich blessing by God’s grace.

                    1. In Hebrew, ‘dor’ means ‘generation’, and if you add the ‘ah’ to the end if could be ‘her generation’ or ‘God’s generation’ … although, of course, that’s irrelevant if the name isn’t Hebrew in origin… I’m just playing with languages here!

                    2. Oh I love this! (You know the medieval scholastics believed Hebrew is the language of the angels.) The connotation of new birth in ‘God’s generation’ is sweet to me. Shall I start signing off with ….
                      pax,
                      dora(h)
                      May the angels smile w/out prejudice.

  2. Wow sonetimes thouvhts are there but the will to write them down ….
    Luv the locusts and dried throat images

    MuchπŸ’–love

  3. I know that feeling – so well put in this novelinee.
    “Metaphor locusts consume in their swarm.” – brilliant – echoes the parched throat too
    “In//spi//ra//tion\ \fro//zen… in… dead//est\ \night” – you got there in the end though the desert is cold

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