Famished, or: Frozen

My 1st novelinee

My parched throat stings; and when I try to form,
Nought comes forth but heaving; this painful rasp.
Metaphor locusts consume in their swarm...
Depleted... whence... that... dry, terrible gasp?
In this verse desert, there are not enough *
I'm searching but cannot find quite the right *
Damn... did it ring sweetly...? was it a rough *
I... did it... rhyme loosely...? was... it the tight... *
In//spi//ra//tion\ \fro//zen... in... dead//est\ \night

d’Verse prompt:

‘Something Novel in Lines’

Since today is the 9th of the 9th month it is fitting for that numeral to inform todayโ€™s d’Verse poetry form โ€“ so letโ€™s meet the novelinee!

The novelinee is a nine-line stanza overlaid with this rhyme sequence: a,b,a,b,c,d,c,d,d in 10-syllable lines (decasyllabic) with alternate stresses (iambic pentameter).

68 thoughts on “Famished, or: Frozen”

  1. So many excellent lines in this David. The drought of words and inspiration so cleverly evoked.

  2. The desert of dried up words happens to all of us… It seems the locust have carried them all off! You have worked this one very well!
    dwight

  3. David ben Alexander,
    Even as you pretend to struggle with form, the form behaves itself most submissively beneath your fingers. Brilliant.
    pax,
    dora

    1. โœจ๐Ÿ’œโœจ Dora โœจ๐Ÿ’œโœจ

      Thank you!

      P.S. I saw somewhere that your name was written with an ‘h’ at the end… is that the correct spelling?

      1. With an โ€˜hโ€™ when I tack on my middle initial, which I sometimes do. Itโ€™s biblical connotations appeal to me. ๐Ÿ˜‰

        1. We deliberately spelled our daughter’s name in English with an ‘h’ at the end, although it’s very unusual for her name in English… her name is ‘Liorah’

          1. I’m really into names ๐Ÿ™‚

            Most Americans spell the name ‘Leora’, but transliteration and accuracy are important to me – so, letter-by-letter, ‘Liorah’ is more precise, and more distinctly Jewish to my mind.

            โค
            David

          2. Oh yes. It has resonances with Deborah and of course Sarah, but there is an American flavor as well and I like that mingling. Names are mystical, of great power. Liorah is blessed to have had such care taken over hers. โค๏ธ

          3. Perfect. I know Dora means “gift” in Greek but by far prefer ‘the light of God’ association of ‘orah’. David, May Liorah find her name to be a rich blessing by God’s grace.

          4. In Hebrew, ‘dor’ means ‘generation’, and if you add the ‘ah’ to the end if could be ‘her generation’ or ‘God’s generation’ … although, of course, that’s irrelevant if the name isn’t Hebrew in origin… I’m just playing with languages here!

          5. Oh I love this! (You know the medieval scholastics believed Hebrew is the language of the angels.) The connotation of new birth in ‘God’s generation’ is sweet to me. Shall I start signing off with ….
            pax,
            dora(h)
            May the angels smile w/out prejudice.

  4. Wow sonetimes thouvhts are there but the will to write them down ….
    Luv the locusts and dried throat images

    Much๐Ÿ’–love

  5. I know that feeling – so well put in this novelinee.
    “Metaphor locusts consume in their swarm.” – brilliant – echoes the parched throat too
    “In//spi//ra//tion\ \fro//zen… in… dead//est\ \night” – you got there in the end though the desert is cold

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