It could be that the very idea of health is a plant seeded within fertile as we are unwittingly desperate as we are arable sown watered , sweat flowing from our over our down our onto our full flowering forceful , feracious , , fe,,, f f
d’Verse Poetics
‘Dungeons and Derivatives’
The idea of the prompt is to select one (from a list of eight sentences) and to change at least one word or more by replacing it with a derivative. Once you are done, unlock the muse from its dungeon and write a poem with the existing sentence.
I selected: โCould it be that this idea of healing is a seed that has been planted within us?โ
The Skeptic's Kaddish ๐ฎ๐ฑ 
I feel as though this poem has entered another realm at the end… otherworldly bliss! ๐
๐งก Thanks, Tricia ๐งก
-David
You left me breathless …..
๐ฅฐ Helen, that’s so kind! ๐ฅฐ
O! wow! this is, to return back to you ‘f’n awesome!
Stunning, surprising, absolutely intense – and oh, yeah, sinuous and erotic. Elemental. Almost savage and primitive too, yet somehow, exceptionally elegant. I mean you have taken the prompt and distilled it right down, into pure magic – this is alchemy. Pure gold. Mined from the earth. And the ending, well, it’s certainly different. But it ties it all right back into life’s circle. “Fe” – the elemental symbol for iron. I don’t know if this was intentional, deliberate or perhaps just a word play/game thing, maybe it was subconscious? But this “simple” poem is so very layered and complex, it literally demands repeated reading and the aspect of letting it just sit – uncorked, breathing.
Lovely to meet you David ๐ And I’m definitely going to be visiting more. Consider me entranced by your creativity and insights.
WC47, you are beyond kind – that’s an amazing compliment… I feel slightly abashed ๐ณ
BTW, the blog associated with your name (when I click on it) is ‘redbrickballoons’ – but that seems to be defunct…. if you want to change it to your current, active blog, just check out this post that I wrote about that –
https://skepticskaddish.com/2021/05/03/tips-for-bloggers-1-your-profile/
Yours,
David
I lost my original comment!
Okay, actually, I have reset set it, several times, and I suspect that if it’s not showing up it’s because the old values/link is still stored in the archival history or whatever, mainframe browser cache/history. It kept showing me the same for a bit until it reset itself – and I’ve even triple checked and it now is telling me that the new site is only one listed. So maybe it’s just cyber/WP gremlins. Great article btw – read it even though I know how this aspect of WP works, just to make sure I hadn’t forgotten any steps.
and just in case: https://pocketpoems88.wordpress.com/
as for the comment re your post: well deserved – clearly you have a poetic soul ๐
Ben,
Transubstantial erotic. There,,,,,,I said it. Your experiments in brevity are truly inspirational, my friend.
pax,
dora
โค Dora, you're incredibly kind. โค
BTW, please feel free to call me by my first name, which is ‘David’… the word “ben” simply means “son of” in Hebrew
๐ค๐
David
Yeah I know that. Itโs my old-timerโs disease kicking in, David. Be kind to your elders. โค๏ธ๐
*laughing*
“old-timer” – that’s cute!
โค
David
I saw the words tapering at the bottom and the commas as them taking root – despite or possibly incited by the very awareness of the seed! Awesome poem!
sometimes I just gotta free the verse…
This is very creative, David. I see a pattern of web in your poem. ๐
โค Aishwarya – thank you! โค
You are welcome, David. ๐
Poetry at its best. This brings back memories for me. From the heart of creativity, when I truly listened to inner rhythms/voice, and regularly allowed ‘mistakes’ to become forms (an earlier blog). It was an exhilarating period and it seemed I could do no wrong.
Rock on, David. It’s very original, and really beautiful. It’s a global think and we are all manifesting it in different ways.
๐ Lia – thank you! ๐
Is this a new form you have invented, David? I like where the prompt took you!
it’s just free verse ๐
I took the idea of beginning a stanza with a comma from some of Bjรถrn’s poems.
But the bit at the end where the words break apart? Thatโs quite striking!
that’s just me “Gettin’ Jiggy Wit It” (it being: Bjรถrnโs commas):
๐ and why not?
๐ค๐๐ค
This is a very creative concept. ๐
๐จ Terveen, thank you ๐จ
โค
David
ha great work, a see a spin off of mine, thanks!
๐ Thanks, Kate ๐
my pleasure David
The beauty of language. Like a seed planted, again and again. each time to bloom a different kind of beauty ๐
Lovely.
PS I scrolled quickly over the spider image ๐
*heheheh*
Thanks, Pat… I was looking for an image that had a dark/ scary/ death-related image and was also full of fertile green shades ๐
โค
David
Well, you found the perfect one! ๐
Best wishes,
Pat
Creativity at its best. Wow. Thanks
Thank you!
โค
David