My 1st Alliterisen
Consider consonants for just a mere moment
Mouths move; the pharynx, phonal, is an articulator
So too, there's the velum, which the tongue touches
The hard palate, plainly, has a curvy, smooth surface
And, also, there's an alveolar ridge
Then there's the tongue tip, blade, front, back and root as well
The teeth are articulators and, lastly, lips
The Alliterisen
The Alliterisen (Complex and Rhyming), a form created by Udit Bhatia, is a simple seven-lined poem with a specific syllable pattern and two alliterations per line. For example: Glorious Graves, and wonderful waves. Alliteration is the succession of similar consonant sounds. They are not recognized by spelling, but rather by sounds.
Click HERE for the syllable structure.
My bad!
I realized upon completing this poem that it doesn’t quite follow the rules of the Alliterisen because it relies upon assonance, rather than alliteration, in the 5th and 7th lines! Oops!
The Skeptic's Kaddish ๐ฎ๐ฑ 
Superbly spoken, were words well written
๐ค๐ Elric ๐ค๐
Thank you!
David
Interesting exercise, but isn’t it also supposed to be rhyming?
not necessarily. this form can be rhyming or not rhyming ๐
but I do plan on working on a rhyming one too!
and sorry – I forgot to add: I really like the piece – it’s entrancing in its own way and has depth – so regardless of technicalities etc., this speaks and appeals to me, which in the end, is what counts.
and of course, whatever I’ve mentioned is only my opinion, nothing more – so you can discount or accept whatever bits you wish – naturally – and it’s all good. ๐
๐ WC47 ๐ – thanks!
-David
a mix of hard and soft – such is the mouth and it’s a bit of a metaphor for life, yes? some of it works, no offense, but some of it sounds forced, hard to actually pronounce the words, which for some is key to the genre of poetry – the word spoken aloud etc. so the form is hard, in this sense; and even if I just read the words in my head, the same applies – yet what an interesting juxtaposition, and I think it lends itself very well to the concept and ideas being teased out here –
there’s a sinuous curve coming through and it’s also rather sensual, borderline erotic – but I’m not sure this particular poetry form is the best fit for the ideas – although perhaps it’s the birthing place of the poem? at any rate, good on you for experimenting and playing with it and the words/ideas – that’s a bold move
Shalom /Peace
No offense taken at all, WC47 – I completely agree with you… I was struggling through this! I’m still tinkering with a few more poems that I think are smooth than my first couple of attempts! โค
-David
it’s a process – but as long as you’re happily engaged (even if frustrated too) it’s all good – at least, we hope so ๐
I really appreciate your encouragement and constructive criticism – both are always welcome here ๐
-David
keep on exploring, creating and writing David – you have passion, interest, dedication and determination – I’m sure you’ll find your way/voice along the paths (there are many, of course, for we never are/wear just one hat) – so happily carry on in the adventures! ๐
Poets are terrible at following rules! Hehe! I liked the alliteration and applaud the efforts. I’m sure you won’t give up and will redeem yourself with the next one!
It’s a different kind of challenge than others I’ve tried ๐
I’m Fondo alliteration. I find it often turns up on its own. (K)
it’s a fun skill to practice ๐
I’m enjoying the challenge of this new [to me] form
Thanks, Kerfe โค
-David
A great biology lesson and poetry at the same time. Nice job.
๐๐ค Lauren ๐ค๐