no doors in walls to Keep out fear
just: Look and See, but no walls there...
once structures, now Convulsing lines
there's Is, there's Was, less timeless rhymes
no what, no I, but only Am
Am Flail for textures; Whisper, "damn..."
unbearable, Am's Feels Are Galled
Walled in, Crawling, no space at all!
nouns swiftly Twisting into verbs
Think straight! no theater left to Be absurd
Am Think, Think Knows, and on it Goes...
and then: Am Start. "Do Are Suppose?"
Are Could Aid Am by Opening...
the... the... constantly Creaking th...ing?
Are Know... what... Am... Am Trying to Say...
dear, Grab the Turns and Pull that... way...
Hope Looks; Look Sees; See Steps; Step Lands-
Am find myself in Are's... dear hands?
hands warm... Hands firm, Hands' Form confirms
Convulsions slow; Walls' Lines conform...
are... You... am I... I... feared I'd die
before I... held You one last Time...
I... want... to say... I've come to see...
That... You and I... We'll al...ways... be...
H/T @Joni
H/T @Joรฃo-Maria
Notes
- I wrote this in Nov. ’20, inspired by two fellow blogger-poets: Joni & Joรฃo-Maria, as you can see above. (For those who are not very familiar with Internet slang, ‘H/T’ means ‘hat tip’, kinda like – ‘I tip my hat to you, Ma’am.’) My poem includes segments of both these writers’ works:
- From Joni, I took the line: “no doors in walls to keep out fears”.
- From Joรฃo-Maria, I took the line: “this unbearable structure of convulsing lines”.
- The combination of the lines I borrowed from these two poems led my thinking in a surreal direction, as you can see… In my mind’s eye, I was imagining what it would be like if reality started to convulse and fears could no longer be kept at bay.
- Also, I no longer recall what led me to this particular idea, but this piece was written as a personal experiment, in that I composed it, imagining a dimension in which all nouns somehow turn into verbs… Essentially, I was playing with language here, deliberately not using nouns in the poem.
- The perspective of the poem was meant to be that of somebody at death’s proverbial door, losing touch with reality, a near-death experience in which the physical world melts away.
- I’m re-posting this today for d’Verse ‘Open Link Night’… I had a lot of fun imagining and writing it. And, reading it now, some 10 months later, I find myself enjoying it and my recollections of the creative process that led to its formation.
The Skeptic's Kaddish ๐ฎ๐ฑ 
This is definitely creative and experimental. Well done, David. Thanks for making us think. ๐ค
๐ค Michele ๐ค
๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ค๐คthis!!!
โจ๐๐ปโจ Krystal โจ๐๐ปโจ
Shall have fun with this you eloquent Poet,you!
๐ Andrew ๐
Despite reading your thinking on the creation of this, to me it feels like an attempt to descibe self-ness- “Am” “Are” “I” and the stumbling through discontinuated (yes I neologized that) existence to discover what “who am I” means.
Also, it’s about death.
lol
Delightful.
๐ Alexandra ๐ – thanks so much for sharing your interpretation with me.
-David
It is like you are sharing a stroke, where the language centers of the brain are shutting down in fits and spurts. It is daring, dynamic and surreal times ten. I have a love/hate relationship with the piece. I hear silent screams, and somewhere in the poetic cerebral miasma, there are some dangerous truths.
๐ Glenn ๐ – wow, thanks for sharing this. I’m humbled.
Whatever happens, “you and I will always be.” A reassuring thought! โค Interesting poem, David. Thanks for sharing the process with us.
๐ Cheryl ๐ – thanks for reading.
i am coming back to re read this in the morning with a less tired head.
๐ Roger ๐ – looking forward to your feedback.
Experiment or not, it captures rather intimately the experience of ego death to which I can attest where an “I” no longer casts a shadow. I thought the use of ellipsis would be halting but it paces the piece really well. Strong writing. Cheers.
๐ Troy ๐
Thanks. With the ellipses, I took a lot of time sounding the poem out, as I wrote it.
-David
The craft definitely comes through…almost has a slam poem pacing but with wider cadence. Lovely work. Cheers.
I wondered what was going on as I read through it and am glad I didn’t know until afterwards. You flipped the script on words in an interesting and entertaining way, David. Glad you decided to share it in dVerse.
๐ Lisa ๐ – I’m always curious about what we can do with words in our poems…
A fascinating experiment, David. It’s surreal, but the rhythm carries us through the words.
๐ Merril, thanks ๐
You’re welcome! ๐
This is fantastic! I’ve never read anything quite like it: and that is a compliment ๐
๐งก Ingrid ๐งก
Surreal indeed. A sensation of reality shifting sideways and things falling off shelves into a chaotic jumble on the floor. Very dream-like and almost a little frightening, too. This was a joy to read. So creative! ๐
โค๏ธ Thanks so much, Mike โค๏ธ