Am, Are, or: Always

no doors in walls to Keep out fear
 just: Look and See, but no walls there...
  once structures, now Convulsing lines
   there's Is, there's Was, less timeless rhymes
    no what, no I, but only Am
     Am Flail for textures; Whisper, "damn..."
      unbearable, Am's Feels Are Galled
       Walled in, Crawling, no space at all!

nouns swiftly Twisting into verbs
 Think straight! no theater left to Be absurd
  Am Think, Think Knows, and on it Goes...
   and then: Am Start. "Do Are Suppose?"
    Are Could Aid Am by Opening...
     the... the... constantly Creaking th...ing?
      Are Know... what... Am... Am Trying to Say...
       dear, Grab the Turns and Pull that... way...

Hope Looks; Look Sees; See Steps; Step Lands-
 Am find myself in Are's... dear hands?
  hands warm... Hands firm, Hands' Form confirms
   Convulsions slow; Walls' Lines conform...
    are... You... am I... I... feared I'd die
     before I... held You one last Time...
      I... want... to say... I've come to see...
       That... You and I... We'll al...ways... be...
   

H/T @Joni

H/T @JoΓ£o-Maria


Notes

  • I wrote this in Nov. ’20, inspired by two fellow blogger-poets: Joni & JoΓ£o-Maria, as you can see above. (For those who are not very familiar with Internet slang, ‘H/T’ means ‘hat tip’, kinda like – ‘I tip my hat to you, Ma’am.’) My poem includes segments of both these writers’ works:
    • From Joni, I took the line: “no doors in walls to keep out fears”.
    • From JoΓ£o-Maria, I took the line: “this unbearable structure of convulsing lines”.
  • The combination of the lines I borrowed from these two poems led my thinking in a surreal direction, as you can see… In my mind’s eye, I was imagining what it would be like if reality started to convulse and fears could no longer be kept at bay.
  • Also, I no longer recall what led me to this particular idea, but this piece was written as a personal experiment, in that I composed it, imagining a dimension in which all nouns somehow turn into verbs… Essentially, I was playing with language here, deliberately not using nouns in the poem.
  • The perspective of the poem was meant to be that of somebody at death’s proverbial door, losing touch with reality, a near-death experience in which the physical world melts away.
  • I’m re-posting this today for d’Verse ‘Open Link Night’… I had a lot of fun imagining and writing it. And, reading it now, some 10 months later, I find myself enjoying it and my recollections of the creative process that led to its formation.

60 thoughts on “Am, Are, or: Always”

  1. Despite reading your thinking on the creation of this, to me it feels like an attempt to descibe self-ness- “Am” “Are” “I” and the stumbling through discontinuated (yes I neologized that) existence to discover what “who am I” means.

    Also, it’s about death.

    lol

    Delightful.

  2. It is like you are sharing a stroke, where the language centers of the brain are shutting down in fits and spurts. It is daring, dynamic and surreal times ten. I have a love/hate relationship with the piece. I hear silent screams, and somewhere in the poetic cerebral miasma, there are some dangerous truths.

  3. Experiment or not, it captures rather intimately the experience of ego death to which I can attest where an “I” no longer casts a shadow. I thought the use of ellipsis would be halting but it paces the piece really well. Strong writing. Cheers.

      1. The craft definitely comes through…almost has a slam poem pacing but with wider cadence. Lovely work. Cheers.

  4. I wondered what was going on as I read through it and am glad I didn’t know until afterwards. You flipped the script on words in an interesting and entertaining way, David. Glad you decided to share it in dVerse.

  5. Surreal indeed. A sensation of reality shifting sideways and things falling off shelves into a chaotic jumble on the floor. Very dream-like and almost a little frightening, too. This was a joy to read. So creative! πŸ™‚

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