In the form of 5 Kimos
sweat beading up on my forehead; glasses slipping; cotton undershirt drenched through, sticking tightly flat feet shifting just slightly, shin muscles shooting sharply, absorbing jarring jolts, careening heavy laptop and accompanying charger, mouse, keyboard in my backpack, bumping others air conditioning is requested by an old lady; she's unheard over the rough jostling pushing, I reach through slick, sardined bodies to hit 'stop', as the bus swerves, lurching towards my street
The cadralor is a poem of 5, unrelated, numbered stanzaic images, each of which can stand alone as a poem, is fewer than 10 lines, and ideally constrains all stanzas to the same number of lines. Imagery is crucial to cadralor: each stanza should be a whole, imagist poem, almost like a scene from a film, or a photograph. The fifth stanza acts as the crucible, alchemically pulling the unrelated stanzas together…
The kimo shares much in common with the haiku: it appears in three lines, making it a tristich, with each line following a diminishing pattern:
- Ten syllables
- Seven syllables
- Six syllables
Each of these lines are unrhymed.
The kimo often deals with a static image, a single moment in which there is no movement. Along with its brief nature, this makes it an excellent form to reflect on or celebrate a particular instance.
d’Verse poetics prompt:
‘Concrete or Abstract?’
Today at d’Verse, poets were prompted to write a poem using only concrete nouns, subject matter and imagery. For the purposes of this exercise, the following words are banned: soul, love, lust, dreams, sorrow, suffering, heartache, wonder, etc.
Poet are to avoid writing directly of the emotions that concrete objects invoke. It should be left to readers to experience the emotions, without the poet referring to them directly.
Let’s write poetry together!
When it comes to partnership, some humans can make their lives alone – it’s possible. But creatively, it’s more like painting: you can’t just use the same colours in every painting. It’s just not an option. You can’t take the same photograph every time and live with art forms with no differences.–Ben Harper (b. 1969)
Would you like to create poetry with me and have a completed poem of yours featured here at the Skeptic’s Kaddish? I am very excited to have launched the ‘Poetry Partners’ initiative and am looking forward to meeting and creating with you… Check it out!
85 thoughts on “Push, or: Shove”
💜 Diana 💜
Can feel the congestion. It’s like holding in your breath and then literally dying to release it. Good one! And the image is so correct. 🙂
💖 Terveen 💖
You sure this is your ride and not mine! This could be a scene from our buses here. Terrific take on the prompt, David. ❤️
❤ thanks Punam ❤
Always a pleasure, David. 🤗
The details here jostle the mind on a ride I remember too well — well crafted and right to the prompt!
yeah it doesn’t get much more concretely uncomfortable than that, does it? 😀
A colorful Bus poem, which could have been the Subway; public transportation can be dehumanizing. You and Ingrid with the Cadalor. Haiku for her, kimo for you; fascinating.
💞 Glenn 💞
I hope you are receiving my comments, I don’t see my original comment about your poem in the wonderfully huge group of them. I do have Carl’s art and will keep it as long as I live. Carl lives with me, is developmentally disabled … though not severely. He holds down a full time job in a supermarket, we live close to it and he walks. Does not drive. He is an absolute joy as a housemate and I cannot imagine life without him.
❤ Helen ❤ – thank you so much for answering my question and sharing this with me. I really appreciate it,
Ahh,a new form for me to experiment on…are there any restrictions on what the kimo must be about?I’m just curious 😀
no, but they’re supposed to be like photographs or snippets of videos – the idea is to capture a moment in time with each kimo…
Oh ok…because I was thinking of writing a set of kimos on the festivities going on here..its Diwali, no? 😀
that would definitely work
Sure,then I’ll try it out!Btw out of curiosity,did my halloween poem qualify as a cadralor?
I’m not an expert, but I don’t see why not 🙂
Yeah well,I don’t think it’d take an expert,yes? Thanks! 😀
Such vivid imagery here. Wonderful!
😍 Mary 😍 – thanks!
I felt as though I was on that bus!! Well done.
💝 Helen 💝
You nailed it! Ugh. Blessedly, this scene has been less common for the past year!
Here in Israel, the buses are quite full and running… Technically people are required to wear masks, but not all do (as you can imagine).
It’s a long time since I was in that kind of a bus. You made me realise how little I’m missing.
*laughing* – I’m glad I could be of service to you, Jane ❤
I’ll treasure your warning xx