Falling, or: Floating

Sevenling (Our daughter fell)

Our daughter fell sick last week
on Shabbat (Saturday). She had a fever;
was coughing heavily; and had no appetite.

Our goldfish has taken to resting at the surface
of its aquarium; always in the same corner;
sometimes tilted a bit sideways.

The two spent a lot of time together.

The sevenling

Structure:

  • Lines one to three should contain three connected or contrasting statements, or a list of three details, names or possibilities. This can take up all of the three lines or be contained anywhere within them.
  • Lines four to six should similarly have three elements (statements, details, names, or possibilities) connected directly or indirectly or not at all.
  • The seventh line should act as a narrative summary or punchline or an unusual juxtaposition.
  • While there are no set metrical rules, because of its form, some rhythm, meter and/or rhyme is desirable.
  • The visual structure of the form is two stanzas of three lines, with a solitary seventh line last line.

Also:

  • Titles are not required. The original convention was to title the sevenling: “Sevenling (followed by the first few words in parentheses)”, but the form has evolved to other title conventions including dropping “Sevenling” completely from the title.
  • Sevenling should be mysterious, offbeat or disturbing, giving a feeling that only part of the story is being told.

Let’s write poetry together!

When it comes to partnership, some humans can make their lives alone – it’s possible. But creatively, it’s more like painting: you can’t just use the same colours in every painting. It’s just not an option. You can’t take the same photograph every time and live with art forms with no differences.

Ben Harper (b. 1969)

Would you like to create poetry with me and have a completed poem of yours featured here at the Skeptic’s Kaddish? I am very excited to have launched the ‘Poetry Partners’ initiative and am looking forward to meeting and creating with you… Check it out!

39 thoughts on “Falling, or: Floating”

    1. 💖 Diana 💖 – my daughter still has a cough and a bit of a cold, but she’s not nearly as sick as she was before – she returned to school on Sunday

      Thank you!
      David

  1. cute!
    “Our goldfish has taken to resting at the surface
    of its aquarium; always in the same corner;
    sometimes tilted a bit sideways.

    The two spent a lot of time together.

    1. ❤ Abi ❤ – ya know, I'm not sure what the goldfish's deal is… at first I was worried, but this has been going on for a few weeks now, and it seems more like the fish is just resting up there. Maybe it thinks it's retired.

          1. being curious, I just read they like a bit of sea salt too. That could even introduce the theme of sea burial… have fun first 🙂

    1. ❤ Worms ❤ – I'm actually not sure that the fish is sick. It might just be "chilling" up there. It still swims around, and this has been going for quite a while… maybe it's depressed or something and bored of aquarium life 😉

      1. LOL. Don’t know if you get the British kids’ TV show there called Peppa Pig, but Peppa took her ailing goldfish to the vet only to have it perk up on the bus. The vet declared that boredom was indeed the likely ailment.

        1. my daughter is just slightly older than the average Peppa Pig audience, I think (she’s been watching full Disney movies for a while now), but she used to love it, and she still watches an episode or two of Peppa on YouTube out of nostalgia sometimes…

          BTW, the humor in that show for adults is amazing – the creators did a terrific job!

    1. I don’t know what the deal is with the fish… it does still swim around (at first I was worried that it’s not well)… but it seems to really like that upper corner of the tank for some reason… maybe it thinks it’s time for retirement 😉

        1. well I like to think that I’m funny, but my daughter would disagree… despite laughing a lot at my jokes.

          but “what the deal with the XXX is…” is an American way of speaking 🙂

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