Rain, or: Shine

Posted on by ben Alexander

A Waltz wave poem

gray
over-
cast
heavens;
my daughter
believes
God's
crying
up above
Jerusalem
and wonders
why God
gets
so sad
during the
autumn
and
winter
months

Waltz wave?

  • a one-stanza poem;
  • nineteen lines;
  • each line has a set number of syllables;
  • the pattern is: 1/2/1/2/3/2/1/2/3/4/3/2/1/2/3/2/1/2/1;
  • words may be split into syllables to fit the pattern;
  • this form seems to educe a soothing cadence as the lines gently increase and decrease, so it is suggested that topic chosen for this form also be soothing.

#TankaTuesday

The above was written for Colleen M. Chesebro’s ‘Tanka Tuesday’ prompt: Poets are to choose their own forms and colors to feature in their syllabic poem.

Let’s write poetry together!

When it comes to partnership, some humans can make their lives alone – it’s possible. But creatively, it’s more like painting: you can’t just use the same colours in every painting. It’s just not an option. You can’t take the same photograph every time and live with art forms with no differences.

–Ben Harper (b. 1969)

Would you like to create poetry with me and have a completed poem of yours featured here at the Skeptic’s Kaddish? I am very excited to have launched the ‘Poetry Partners’ initiative and am looking forward to meeting and creating with you… Check it out!

90 thoughts on “Rain, or: Shine”

      1. Yes it is! English. Among all the Spanish speaking countries that surround it.
        English. In the Caribbean Basin.
        Iโ€™m so glad to have piqued your interest in that very small country.
        Thank you. Sweet. I bless you. xo

  2. I had never heard of this form of poetry before, so thank you for introducing it to me, David. I love how you interpret the clouds from the eyes of a child. Well done! ๐Ÿ™‚

    1. ๐Ÿ’› Yvette ๐Ÿ’›

      You’re so welcome – I’ve really gotten into discovering new [to me] forms since starting this blog. This poetic “interpretation” is almost exactly what my first-grader said to me on a walk recently ๐Ÿ˜€

      Much love,
      David

  3. My one grandmother always said the thunder was the from the angels bowling and getting strikes!
    I guess though rain too could be tears of joy? Cleansing. Winter though is just a season, a natural season. Even those climates that seem to not change much, change some. Change is really the only constant. All the best to you and yours this New Year.

    I alluded to the unseen rainbow…for this prompt.

          1. Yep. Those sandwiched in between taking care of both… Been there done that and have the T-shirt ๐Ÿ˜‰

      1. Sorry ๐Ÿ™‚ I like the slow lilting rhythm of your poem, and I think it would be interesting to use this poetry technique to compose sentences that could be woven into a piece of prose writing. Varying rhythm is important in prose. This is usually achieved by mixing shorter and longer sentences. But this technique could make prose even more like music.

  6. Wonderful waltz wave! I too wonder if God had Seasonal Affective Disorder… Or perhaps they are tears of relief that 2021 is finally over!

      1. You’re welcome sir! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘ The combination of a child’s innocence and God crying made it hard to resist! ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ‘Œโค๏ธ

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