Winter window, or: Cloudless

A haiku

cloudless cold
cloudy warm water
spoons slipping

#TankaTuesday

The above was written for Colleen M. Chesebro’s ‘Tanka Tuesday’ prompt: Poets are to write haiku.


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When it comes to partnership, some humans can make their lives alone – it’s possible. But creatively, it’s more like painting: you can’t just use the same colours in every painting. It’s just not an option. You can’t take the same photograph every time and live with art forms with no differences.

Ben Harper (b. 1969)

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40 thoughts on “Winter window, or: Cloudless”

  1. David, you’ve mixed in some interesting elements in your haiku. Like Kerfe, I like the alliteration. I actually came up with a last line without an -ing ending! “wet, slick spoons.” That ending still mimics the other alliterations you have in the previous two lines (c’s, w’s, and s’s). โค

    1. Colleen – I was thinking about the ‘ing’ as I wrote it, but it felt right to me in this haiku… I suppose, alternatively, I could have written something like “silver slips” – but the spoon in the photo caught my eye, and it had some of the same sounds as ‘slip’ so I went with it ๐Ÿ™‚

      โค
      David

      1. Kerfe and I talked about the -ing endings as well. There are times when nothing else seems to work. I know! I entered some haiku contests not long ago and the critique was: too many -ing endings. That got me to thinking. Now, I work hard to not use them. I’m expanding my vocabulary in ways I never thought possible. LOL! โค

        1. in truth, I’d thought about this before I read what you wrote, Colleen – because I’ve used ‘ings’ that way – I may have used it this time, but it’s something that I’m being mindful of ๐Ÿ™‚

          1. Me too. I hadn’t thought about the -ing endings much before. I thought it showed action, like a verb. Oh well. It was a good lesson for me. Japanese poetry wants us to share what’s in the moment ,so the tense seems to matter more. I’m sure I’ll make many more mistakes. LOL! ๐Ÿ˜€

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