Watching the clouds thicken, I smiled. I so loved how they would settle upon my secluded cabin every winter.
Jason’s cabin. He had brought me here years ago, long before we were married, claiming that this was where earth met sky. “See?” he’d asked, “The clouds descend from the heavens in winter. Isn’t it lovely?”
How many years had it been? I’d lost all sense of time, it seemed. Every year, throughout the year, I wandered lonely as a cloud through the forest, waiting for winter… waiting for Jason’s clouds to visit so that I wouldn’t feel so alone. The flowering of spring meant losing him all over again… I wanted winter to last forever.
After the accident, I’d gone through Jason’s personal effects, but I couldn’t feel his presence in them… Not even in his beloved cabin.
He’d only visit with the clouds.
d’Verse prosery is flash fiction with a beginning, a middle and an end, in any genre of the author’s choice, no longer than 144 words. This very short piece of prose must include an assigned line from a poem, within the 144 word limit. Writers may change the punctuation of the assigned line, but they may not insert words within the quotation.
I wandered lonely as a cloud-from William Wordsworth’s ‘I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud’
‘What do you see’ Prompt #125
For Sadje’s weekly #WDYS prompt, she offered the photo below (taken by Sean Boyd) as inspiration for writers to produce art.
93 thoughts on “He’d only visit with the clouds”
Poignant. I’m not sure what is more painful, to remember or to forget…
❤ Thanks, Lisa! ❤ ~ I'm not sure either…
❤ Thanks, LM! ❤
You’ve poured so much emotion in here David. I loved the story. Thanks for joining in.
I agree with Sadje. A moving piece. The heart longing for the ethereal ling since gone.
❤ Thanks, Suzette! ❤
A pleasure poet.
❤ Thanks, Sadje! ❤ ~ your prompt really set the framework for this piece of fiction.
You’re welcome! Thanks
You did an amazing job of joining the prompts. The story evokes such sadness and loss. It also has hope though, because when the fog comes in she is joined by her love. This is wonderful David
❤ Thanks, Lauren! ❤
Wonderfully atmospheric and tugging. It speaks as much in the spaces between the lines and words, echoing of the silences, the longing, the emptiness. You’ve certainly captured loneliness and brought it here to us, on the earth. And what an intriguing twist – not typical for stories or poems – to openly suggest the want of the cold, the harsh, to appreciate them for their beauty. Well done David. Well done.
The meaning is in the gap, Derrida
❤ Thanks, Andrew! ❤
❤ Thanks, Pat! ❤ ~ I had that same thought about winter as I was writing this… it was ultimately the photo prompt that pushed me in this direction.
oh my what a beautiful piece, really felt this
❤ Thanks, Roger! ❤
Beautifully envisaged – that last line….
❤ Thanks, Marion! ❤
Great use of the feminine voice, and spiritual connections. A new form of forest bathing. An excellent crushing of the prompt.
❤ Thanks, Glenn! ❤
I feel the longing for reconnection in this, a love persevering. Well done, sir.
❤ Thanks, Chris! ❤
a heartfelt piece David so clear in the gift of the fog 🌻
❤ Cindy ❤ ~ thanks!
BRAVO! Well done! A most excellent piece. Leaves one to wonder of gender, or relationships, of when, and how, and why, yet is hard, concrete, complete. Smashing!
❤ Thanks, Espie! ❤ ~ I think the gender of the main character is irrelevant, don't you?
Yes but perspective for many of us makes us reflect differently about romance, trust, and guidance based on our own gender. I have deeper feelings for male friends in matters of “got your back or you can learn from me” than female, and stronger feelings in matters of romance and oneness (and hence “loss”) for female. One (at least I find it so) as a male does not hold male and female friendship the same way, so does not reflect on the past and loss the same way for each. I suspect flack from this statement, but would caution anyone taking me to task that their insecurity over my interpretation suggests they themselves are too wrapped-up in gender influence not for the quality and diversity that brings but for the simple matter that it is evident.
okily dokily! (I was thinking of this as being the experience of a wife who lost her husband, but I’m not overly attached to that interpretation)
What makes the piece work so well is lack of specificity, letting the reader go their own way. I can experience two measures of loss and simultaneous happy reflection. Old bud-types, and spouse-types. As an individual no one can deny me either. Come to think of it three interpretations: differentiating between dad/grandfather/uncles and service buds or companerios.
It could also be a married homosexual couple.
See, my argument holds. I did not demand female/male spousal relations. You did commenting. I can (only, sorry) imagine a same gender spouse, but believe that relationship would be of an altogether different quality and nature, than that of a bud who went through fear with me in a foxhole, an uncle who taught me to hunt, or a priest (or rabbi, imam, or shaman) who saved my immortal soul.
Oh, I’m not demanding anything – just thinking aloud about all the possibilities… I hadn’t even considered gender until you mentioned it, actually!
You do see your composition gives free rein to any reflections. The artist’s skill in applying just enough pigment to gently move the viewer to their own conclusion and indeed to reach any conclusion.
thanks, Espie – I really appreciate your words.
So it’s again, I say, a damned fine piece.
❤ Espie ❤
Oh I’m so glad you posted to the prompt. This is truly beautiful and I love the photo you’ve posted with it. It’s true right? In some places, the earth just seems to meet with the clouds. And then to insert this romance…this true love…saddens it but still is affirmative in the ending.
❤ Thanks, Lillian! ❤ ~ yes… I do think it's true – thank you!