A haibun
How does one manage to make herself almost-late to school practically every single morning? There are several different steps that one can take towards this goal.
First, and perhaps most obviously, don’t get out of bed on time unless it’s Shabbat or other holiday, which is not a school day. Of course, sometimes you might get out of bed on time simply because it gets boring to return to the same strategies over and over again.
Second, after you pee, walk out into the hallway and start gabbing loudly about completely random things, thereby forcing your parents to drop what they’re doing and usher you back into the bathroom to flush the toilet and wash your hands. Then, continue babbling cheerfully to your reflection in the mirror while holding your dry toothbrush.
Third, get dressed very slowly. For example, take off your pants and sit pantless, looking at your cute little knees, long enough for your parents to point out that you’re wasting time and are running late (once again). Then, on cue, start winding yourself up and insist that they’re hurting your feelings by informing you of the hour. Getting upset, you see, always justifies wasting more time and sitting (or walking around) pantless for even longer.
Fourth, now that you’ve ruined everyone’s mood, including your own, insist that your parents are interrupting you and that you have something very important to say. Cry enough to make it seem that the only reason you’re not articulating your very important thoughts is that you’re simply much too put out to speak.
Once you have mastered these steps, please be in touch with me for further time-wasting and mood-ruining morning strategies.
puppy pulls lips back;
nips hand; stiffens in March chill;
growls; struggles; calms down
sunshine-breeze beckons;
puppy hides from leash indoors;
buses rattle by
Go Dog Go Cafe’s Haibun Wednesday
- This week’s prompt is to write a haibun about Something Ridiculous.
- From Poetry.org:
- In How to Haiku, Bruce Ross writes, “If a haiku is an insight into a moment of experience, a haibun is the story or narrative of how one came to have that experience.”
Let’s write poetry together!
When it comes to partnership, some humans can make their lives alone – it’s possible. But creatively, it’s more like painting: you can’t just use the same colours in every painting. It’s just not an option. You can’t take the same photograph every time and live with art forms with no differences.
–Ben Harper (b. 1969)
Would you like to create poetry with me and have a completed poem of yours featured here at the Skeptic’s Kaddish? I am very excited to have launched the ‘Poetry Partners’ initiative and am looking forward to meeting and creating with you… Check it out!
The Skeptic's Kaddish 🇮🇱 
Ah but there is immense creativity being birthed in that little mind. I was like that too. Or, at least so I am told.😊
yes, yes 😀 – and I’m all for that(!) – but can’t we also get to school on time?
🤣 Good point.
🤣 I have got news for you: you’re the parent, you have to find a way to step of that particular roundabout. Hint: I am sure it starts with you being tense. Enjoy. Those years pass all too quickly right ☺
The prose is hilarious!
But I don’t feel like the haiku part connects at all.
I actually agree – I couldn’t think of a good metaphor in nature for her behavior so I searched for info about other creatures that throw tantrums… Do you have any alternative suggestions?
Maybe instead of a metaphor, a reference to the morning outside contrasted to the fact that you haven’t left yet?
oooooh – that’s good!
how about now? I didn’t delete the original, but I added a second one…
In the second haiku, the first and last lines work, and that last line is absolutely perfect. But the middle one doesn’t make sense. The prose gives the impression that the daughter is not moving with any urgency whatsoever, so comparing her to a running puppy doesn’t really make sense. I get that you’re trying to suggest running from the leash to go out, but I think “runs” is the wrong verb. “Hides” or “cries” or some other verb that conveys a distinct lack of urgency would work better. (I also don’t think a metaphor is necessary here, but if you’re going to go with one, “runs” is the wrong verb)
Thanks once again 🙂
I changed it to hides. You are so right.
Happy to help!
I do remember rushed mornings, but luckily the particulars are buried too deeply to retrieve. If they were late for high school it was on them. (K)
🤣😂 oh my! Thank you for making me laugh so much. True medicine for the soul.
Clever little coot.
too clever for her own good❣️
O yes.
🤣
🙄 🙄 🙄
When we were in primary school, my sister was a champion procrastinator. She made us late for school every day! Eventually my Mum gave my teacher blanket instructions not to tell me off if I was late, as it would be my sister’s fault.
hahaha! that’s a great anecdote – is she still inclined to be late?
Not now she’s married a man who’s always early…
*whew!*
Lol. Your daughter sounds like our kids.
Clever girl knows where all the buttons are located! 😂
why do I get the feeling that this might be a touchy subject 🤣
I can’t wait for her to grow out of this phase!
*le sigh*
yeah, right.
When she moves out.
Just beautiful
You love you child so very very much
All these minute details are so fascinating to read also the personality and character
she’s a pain in the tushy!
Hahaha
David David David
😂😂😂
🎈start gabbing loudly about completely random things🎈
😂
Love love it
🤣
Lol