A Senryū
restraint never plays
pretense potently persuades
freedom|s naked lie
Senryū?
Senryū are similar to haiku in construction: three lines with 17 syllables. They tend to be about human foibles while haiku tend to be about nature and are often cynical or darkly humorous, while haiku are more serious.
Let’s write poetry together!
When it comes to partnership, some humans can make their lives alone – it’s possible. But creatively, it’s more like painting: you can’t just use the same colours in every painting. It’s just not an option. You can’t take the same photograph every time and live with art forms with no differences.
–Ben Harper (b. 1969)
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Hiss
💖 Andrew 💖
Magic in final / pivotal line 👍🏻
🧙♂️ Jane, thanks! 🧙♂️
You are welcome, my friend ❤️
*hug*
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The first line is so powerful, restraint comes across as an internal inhibition or control that is extremely measured.
I hope I’m understanding the human foibles in the context you provided, although it is very difficult to define which way the Senryú is leaning towards. I feel an intricate play on words which creates a duality in meaning.
Finally I would go with the possesive case, simply and say pretense is freedom’s naked lie.
💝 Abi 💝
Wonderful last line! Very cleverly done – freedom’s naked lie or freedom snaked lie – it all depends on your perspective!
💙❤️ Muri 💙❤️
I liked this style.
❤️💛 Molly ❤️💛
touche!
👍🏻