Punch-drunk love sours to white wine vinegar over years, as tensions spike at home... voices drip acid upon the floor tiles... brother and sister tripping over themselves in familiar apprehension... their little feet, hearts pounding the stairs to safety... "F**k!" He raises the bottle.
The most intricate Japanese Poetry form is the Choka, or Long Poem. The early form consisted of a series of katauta joined together. This gives a choice of form structures of 5/7/5/5/7/7… etc., or: 5/7/7/5/7… etc.
The Choka could be any total line length and indeed many exceeded 100 lines. Looking at this, it is easy to see why Poetic Historians believe the katauta is the original basic unit of Japanese poetry using either the 17 or 19 unit onji.
d’Verse Quadrille #160
The above choka is my take on d’Verse’s Quadrille challenge.
The Quadrille is simply a poem of 44 words (excluding the title), and it can take any form. This week’s challenge was to use the word “punch” in a Quadrille.
Let’s write poetry together!
When it comes to partnership, some humans can make their lives alone – it’s possible. But creatively, it’s more like painting: you can’t just use the same colours in every painting. It’s just not an option. You can’t take the same photograph every time and live with art forms with no differences.–Ben Harper (b. 1969)
Would you like to create poetry with me and have a completed poem of yours featured here at the Skeptic’s Kaddish? I am very excited to have launched the ‘Poetry Partners’ initiative and am looking forward to meeting and creating with you… Check it out!
45 thoughts on “Fallen apple, or: Tree”
A sad reality for far too many.
😩🙏🏻 Lauren 🙏🏻😩
A very chilling and dramatic poem, David!
💝🙏🏻 Dwight 🙏🏻💝
Carries quite a punch! ;).David, nicely done.
💞🙏🏻 Sangeetha 🙏🏻💞
Too true too often David — and too too sad. 😕
😓🙏🏻 Rob 🙏🏻😓
Creative intro! Not all things age like fine wine. 😞
😔🙏🏻 Michele 🙏🏻😔
The drunk resorts to punches and the children flee in hopes of disappearing from target range. Such a sad poem and far too true for too many…
😥🙏🏻 Muri 🙏🏻😥
That’s a tragedy, especially for children.
😿🙏🏻 Dolly 🙏🏻😿
It’s a gut-punch for sure, when that love turns sour. The ending takes us there…
😢🙏🏻 Tricia 🙏🏻😢
Too many of these punches being thrown. (K)
💔🙏🏻 Kerfe 🙏🏻💔
Wow David! 😮 That was powerful! 💪🤔 Packed a real punch with this one, pun fully intended! 👍😁
❤️🙏🏻 Ken 🙏🏻❤️
Nice one David
💙🙏🏻 Gillena 🙏🏻💙
So sad and far too prevalent.
💚🙏🏻 Brandon 🙏🏻💚