Papa said men should not be swine; He drew a line; Papa said law differs from good; I understood; Papa said I should plan ahead; I lost the thread- Winging my way through life instead; I think back to all he would say, Increasingly... as I turn gray; He drew a line; I understood; I lost the thread.
- Rhyming: a/a / b/b / c/c / c/d/d/c;
- Syllabic: 8/4 / 8/4 / 8/4 / 8/8/8/12
- The first six lines alternate between tetrameter and dimeter;
- The next three are tetrameter;
- The final line consists of: L2, L4, & L6 as a single row.
This ‘Ovillejo’ was written for Colleen Chesebro’s Tanka Tuesday syllabic poetry prompt this week. Writers were encouraged to write syllabic poems, featuring a color.
Let’s write poetry together!
When it comes to partnership, some humans can make their lives alone – it’s possible. But creatively, it’s more like painting: you can’t just use the same colours in every painting. It’s just not an option. You can’t take the same photograph every time and live with art forms with no differences.–Ben Harper (b. 1969)
Would you like to create poetry with me and have a completed poem of yours featured here at the Skeptic’s Kaddish? I am very excited to have launched the ‘Poetry Partners’ initiative and am looking forward to meeting and creating with you… Check it out!
70 thoughts on “Loose threads, or: The needle”
Superb, David – it reads like it should belong in a song. 😄
💝🙏🏻 Laura 🙏🏻💝
[…] ben Alexander […]
💝🙏🏻 Ruth 🙏🏻💝
Beautiful story in such a challenging format, David.
☺️🙏🏻 thanks, Denise! 🙏🏻☺️
My papa said the same thing – via, “Just because it’s legal doesn’t make it right’ – ❤ for Papa's who hold the line when the world and children sometimes lose the the thread of it – 😀
💓🙏🏻 Tamrah Jo 🙏🏻💓 ~ amen