As some of you know, I have been working at three jobs (one full-time, two part-time) since I began my new, full-time job back in early May. One of my two part-time jobs is my work for my rabbi, whom I’ve been working for since 2010; the other part-time job is for my former full-time employer – a small NGO that advocates for religious freedom in Israel.
While I support my former place of employment with all my heart, both in terms of its mission and in terms of my deep affection for the people who work there, I have come to realize that there is too much stress involved for me in balancing three jobs and fatherhood, not to mention my creative writing and blogging.
I feel guilty about this because I know that nobody else at the NGO has my skillset, and it will not be easy to find a replacement for me who’s interested in working at a non-profit salary. Also, a lot of the technology we use, including the website and various mini-sites, is severely outdated and beyond even my technical skillset to revamp, which means that a new employee would have to learn and adapt to all of the “band-aid” solutions to various technical limitations that I’ve come up with over the years.
Ultimately, as a small NGO, I think the biggest problem the organization faces is funding, which is why I feel bad about my decision to leave. If more funding were available, they could hire someone to create new website(s) for them that work well; look modern; are compatible with today’s cell phones; don’t suffer from technical problems; and are therefore easy for anyone with a basic skillset in online communications to update.
Nevertheless, I feel that this is a necessary decision for me to make. My time and energy are limited, as are everyone’s; and I’ve been feeling worn out. Something must give, and of my various responsibilities, this is the one that I can least justify to myself, as I’ve continued working for this NGO mostly for the organization’s sake, rather than for mine.
If I wasn’t feeling so exhausted, I would continue working there part-time and providing them with those technical “band-aid” solutions. However, after six months of doing work for the organization in a part-time capacity, I’ve come to feel that this arrangement is unhealthy for me.
As such, I have given notice to my part-time employer; I will work there until the end of 2022 and not renew my contract for the following year. This will allow them more than two months to search for a replacement for me, which I hope will be enough.
52 thoughts on “Update: relief and guilt”
Everything good to you, David. It was time for you to give yourself a break. 🖖
Eh, don’t feel guilty. A job is a job and honestly, no one is irreplaceable. I left my part-time university teaching job without guilt. I appreciated the institution and mission, it looked good to other people, and there were aspects of teaching that I enjoyed, I overall wasn’t happy.
💛🙏🏻 JYP 🙏🏻💛
You’re amazing! Working at 3 jobs and being such a fantastic writer! My respect 😊
😊🙏🏻 Sangeetha 🙏🏻😊
Best of luck, David.
😻🙏🏻 Dolly 🙏🏻😻
Save yourself first before you can save others. Your considerations are admirable but this could be a project for a post-grad
🖤🙏🏻 Laura 🙏🏻🖤
It’s always hard to say no to someone in need. But you must take care of yourself too. (K)
❤️🙏🏻 Kerfe 🙏🏻❤️
David, your first aid at the NGO has no doubt done good, certainly no harm, except possibly to yourself. So you are blameless in your decision to love them at a remove. Btw, spilling the beans in this post explains the rue in the brew of your haiku. But a burnout alert is no joke, and caffeine’s relief is not always the best way to cope. Thumbs up!
🖤🙏🏻 CES 🙏🏻🖤
you are obviously doing the right thing. I ahve to make some decisions like this too, very soon. But it is very hard. I once had a boyfriend who told me rather unkindly that no one is indispensable. I was upset at the time, but actually he was right. Funnily enough we are still in touch – this was 1972!
💘 🙏🏻 Basia 🙏🏻 💘
Definitely do what’s right for you!@
💞🙏🏻 Leenda 🙏🏻💞
You have done the right thing! All the best going forward!!
❤ Lov ❤ ~ thanks so much.
You are welcome 🤗
Some time ago, a friend of mine said, when I said we should say NO more often, that he started saying, instead, YES. To himself.
💗🙏🏻 Mat 🙏🏻💗
Tough decisions but they must be made. You have to look after yourself too, David. Keep going! 🙂
💓🙏🏻 Terveen 🙏🏻💓