I shall now type some lines on a lark (I'm silly);
When I rhyme, my kid begs- Please stop it! No really!
She insists ev'ry day that I cease the abuse;
That my words just annoy; that I'm no Dr. Seuss.
And she's right, I admit, 'bout my quips and puns weak;
Endless reasons to cringe when I verse tongue-in-cheek.
Perhaps I should refrain when she's perched on my lap;
Cuz to tell you the truth, I'm much better at rap!
Hopscotch with Anapestic tetrameter
Today, at d’Verse we were prompted to write poems with tetrameter — and anapests.
Specifically, we were instructed to hopscotch like children in spring, doing anapests, which means two unstressed syllables, followed by one stressed. da-da-DAM. Anapestic tetrameter means four stressed syllables on each line (so each line has twelve syllables). It’s a form mastered by Dr. Seuss, which my daughter and I are very familiar with.
And, apparently, Eminem also makes use of anapestic tetrameter:
Two days ago, I got together with a friend of mine, whom I hadn’t seen in many months because of the multiple COVID-19 lockdowns that we’ve gone through here in Israel. He and I became particularly close the year before last when we took a Talmud class together in the evenings. Last autumn, he decided to continue studying Talmud, and I decided to forgo it.
During our conversation, I reflected upon the fact that I would never have had as much time for writing poetry and blogging if I’d continued studying Talmud this year. In fact, I wouldn’t have had time for this blog in the 2½ years previous to our Talmud class either – that’s back when I was studying spoken Arabic in the evenings. It seems that I cannot deeply engage myself in more than one extracurricular commitment at a time, on top of my work and parenting responsibilities.
Given this, especially as I near my 1st blogoversary this month, it’s fair to ask whether my blogging journey has been worth it. I could have been doing many other things with my time, but instead I chose to write – so does this seem to have been a good decision?
I have probably written more poetry over the course of this last year than I had in the previous ~40 years of my life; and this has been wonderfully fulfilling. Writing poetry makes me happy in a way that I had never expected. I feel myself a playful child in the virtual playground of the blogosphere, among fellow poets from all over the world.
My joy at writing poetry has even spilled over into my parenting over the last year, as I’ve noted on this blog. Over the course of this last year, my six-year-old daughter has started writing and reading poetry, and she has asked me to write poems about her to post on my blog. She walks around the apartment rhyming various words aloud and playing with spoonerisms and rhythm. She too has come to appreciate and enjoy poetry!
Just last night, I wrote a limerick about her, which she enjoyed hearing me read to her this morning. My wife, ever the responsible one, finally stopped us after several readings, reminding us that we had to get ready to go to preschool.
Emotional outlet for my grief
When I first created ‘The Skeptic’s Kaddish’ website, especially given its title and the first poem that I wrote, my Mama asked me whether I planned to only write about my Papa, who had died in the summer of 2018. I responded that no, I didn’t. This is definitely what some would call a ‘grief blog’, but it was never intended to be exclusively about my grief.
That said, I often think about Papa, and my grieving for him has been gradually evolving. Often, I reflect upon how to commemorate him, and this blog allows me a forum for my grief-related thoughts. Many mourner feels that they are imposing upon or making others uncomfortable when they share their feelings of grief; I have definitely felt that way on more than one occasion. Thankfully, throughout the last year, ‘The Skeptic’s Kaddish’ has been here for me whenever I have needed a space to process my feelings. Having such an outlet has been truly cathartic.
Also, even when I am not writing about Papa, I see him at the top of this website whenever I browse through my blog. In a small way, seeing him there every day makes me feel more connected to him… not metaphysically, but rather by stirring my love. I may not always write about my grief, but every poem on this blog was written, in part, as an expression of my love for him.
I have already written about how much I appreciate and enjoy the interactions I have with other writers and poets here on WordPress, and I won’t rehash that now, except to say that I have come to feel a very strong sense of warmth and community in our shared online space. Thinking about this brings a smile to my face.
So… yes. It has been much more than worth it to blog every day at ‘The Skeptic’s Kaddish’.
I certainly never thought that I would be dedicating so much time to this website, nor to writing poetry (among other things) – but I am so glad that I did so; and I am so glad that you have joined me on my journey. Thank you!
Respond to your children with love in their worst moments, their broken moments, their angry moments, their selfish moments, their lonely moments, their frustrated moments, their inconvenient moments; because it is in their most unlovable human moments that they most need to feel loved.
Although Being Comical
Does Every Father Good,
Hilariously Irreverent Jokes~ Likely Misunderstood!
Not Only Parental Quips
Reproached So Thoroughly;
Unintentionally Vexatious Ways&eXcessively Youthlike Zeal!
Girl, from the first it's been true
your sweetness surpassed all who
poop, cry and coo, as babes do.
Watching you skip at the zoo;
you bathing, smearing shampoo;
laughing at Winnie the Pooh...
Since the hour that you were born,
every morn, faith soars anew.
I’ve been thinking of writing an ethical will entry on education for some time now, but it’s been challenging for me to begin. For me, there are three obstacles:
The strong personal association I draw between Judaism and placing a high value on education, which I worry may come across as off-putting to some;
Not relating to many of the traditional Jewish source texts on education;
My personal experiences with [higher] education, which did not [ultimately] serve me well, as a result of my poor decision-making.
Fortuitously, I recently came across a short talk by Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sackszt”l on Animalizard’s blog, which gave me the language I needed to overcome that first internal barrier, and this, in turn, gave me the motivation to push through the others.
Jews and education
This is the part that makes me uncomfortable to share, but it will, in part, showing you where I am coming from.
Jews, as a religious group, really, really, really prioritize education, and this has been true throughout our history (as far as I know). The ‘People of the Book’ have long valued literacy. It feels haughty to me to make mention of this, but it’s simply true, even in the modern day. In 2016, the Pew Research Center published its study on ‘Religion and Education Around the World’, which found that:
When measured by years of formal schooling, Jews have the highest average educational attainment, while Muslims and Hindus have the lowest. Christians have the second highest average years of schooling, followed by religiously unaffiliated adults and then Buddhists.
This cultural emphasis on education played a major part in my upbringing. My father and mother were both highly educated, well read and sophisticated, as was most of our extended family on either side. I grew up fully expecting that college and graduate school awaited me after high school. In my mind, it was only a matter of deciding whether to be a doctor, lawyer, professor or engineer.
A joke to lighten [the/my] mood
This reminds me of a classic Jewish joke, which some of you may be already familiar with:
The First Jewish President
The first Jewish president calls up his mother and invites her over for Passover. Characteristically, his mother immediately begins complaining.
“Oy, I’ll need to book a flight and it’s going to cost so much – it is just too much of a bother.” Her son counters, “Mom! I’m the President! I’ll hire a private jet for you!” “Oy, I’ll need to catch a taxi and carry my luggage. It’s just too much!” “Mom! I’m the President! I’ll pick you up in my limo! Then my guards will carry your luggage for you!” “Oy, I’ll need to book a hotel.” “Mom! Don’t be ridiculous! I’m the President! You can stay at the White House!” “Okay, fine,”she finally acquiesces.
Two minutes later her friend Sophie calls. “So, Miriam, what’s new?” “Oy, I’m going to my son for Passover.” “Who, the doctor?” “No, the other one.”
Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks zt”l on being Jewish
An important clarification
I am a Jew, not because I believe that Judaism contains all there is of the human story. I admire other traditions and their contributions to the world… Nor is it because I think that Jews are better than others, more intelligent, creative, generous, or successful…
These words can be heard spoken by Rabbi Sacks zt”l in the video below.
‘Why I am a Jew’ by Rabbi Jonathan Sacks zt”l
Education as a sacred task
Among the many reasons (and I do suggest that you watch the video in its entirety) that Rabbi Sacks zt”l gives for his being Jewish is this one, which resonates deeply with me:
Jews, though they lacked all else, never ceased to value education as a sacred task, endowing the individual with dignity and depth…
It’s not a matter of my people being better than another. It’s a matter, as Rabbi Sacks zt”l aptly puts it, of that which is uniquely my people’s:
I admire other civilizations and traditions; I believe each has brought something special into the world… but this is ours.
Jewish source texts
Some that don’t work for me…
As you may imagine, there are a lot of ancient Jewish sources that deal with education, particularly in relation to a father educating his son, and with a particular emphasis on discipline and ‘not sparing the rod’. For example, Proverb 13:24:
The rod and reproof give wisdom; but a child left to himself causes his mother shame.
I cite these texts because pretending that they do not exist would be dishonest, as I want to ground my ‘ethical will’ in my tradition. However, the thrust of the approach above to education leaves me feeling cold, for such biblical sources are simply ancient and in no way reflect my thinking or perceptions. While I must, of course, allow for cultural and other historical developments, I nonetheless find this attitude towards pedagogy entirely unrelatable.
There are, of course, other Jewish texts on education, many of which focus on the study of particular religious texts and the performance of particular religious rituals at particular ages, but these are not so relevant to my thoughts on education in general.
Educate a youth according to his way; he will not swerve from it even in old age.
Now, while every child has their individual strengths and weaknesses, the Jewish sages thought it necessary to suggest four models of learners. The following source comes to us from a text known as the ‘Ethics of the Fathers’ (5:15), which is more precisely translated as ‘Chapters of the Fathers’:
There are four types among those who sit before the sages: the sponge, the funnel, the strainer and the sieve. The sponge absorbs all. The funnel takes in at one end and lets it out the other. The strainer lets out the wine and retains the sediment. The sieve lets out the coarse flour and retains the fine flour.
What I particularly appreciate about this 2nd source is that it feels to me like the early stages (200 CE) of an attempt to develop an inclusive pedagogic program that takes different learning styles into account. One may dismiss the categories as overly simplistic, perhaps, but the rabbis’ articulation of their collective concern and consideration is important.
While the Jewish tradition’s sources on education are rather a mixed bag, I find these last two very gratifying and relatable.
In 7th grade I had an especially fantastic English teacher (Mrs. Stephanie Margolies) who metaphorically “gifted” each of her students an object from her classroom at the end of the year and explained the symbolism behind each of her personal “gifts” to us. She bequeathed upon me the large sponge that she used for washing the blackboard because, as she explained, I was endlessly asking questions during class.
The text above from the ‘Ethics of our Fathers’ has made me think about being a sponge in another way that I also find myself relating to. It’s the idea that the sponge absorbs everything – both good and bad – with no filter. Everything goes in and gets mixed around with everything else.
This trait is something that I find myself continuing to struggle with – I’m constantly absorbing bits of information from everywhere and everyone, and I’m always curious about everything at once, seeking clarification of even the most minor details. It makes focusing on any one thing for an extended period of time very difficult for me, and when I manage to focus on something, I get very annoyed with anyone or anything that distracts me (although I have gotten much better at not expressing my frustration).
I get bored of doing one thing for too long because everything else around me is interesting all the time. In fact, I have subconsciously taught myself to entirely avoid exploring certain things because I would never get anything done otherwise. This is essentially a defense mechanism for me – the choice to ignore certain aspects of the world entirely.
It was a terrible mistake for me to pursue my undergraduate degree in engineering because I was never interested in it; the world around me was much more fascinating. My graduate degree in public policy was a step in the right direction because it broadened my understanding and appreciation of how my society operated, but ending up behind a desk at the U.S. Department of Energy sent me towards depression – it was not long before I became bored out of my mind.
Even now, I’m not sure what choices I should have made as a young man, in terms of my higher education, but taking off some time before entering college would have been a wise move for me. I think that it’s not only on our parents to treat us as individuals, but also on us to actively seek to better understand ourselves. Education remains, unquestionably, a top priority for me; but it must not be embarked upon merely for the sake of diplomas and credentials, as I did.