The skeptic’s kaddish for the atheist, 48

I am no longer a "mourner" according to tradition, but am I no longer mourning? This is beyond me. Can one truly mourn forever, or does mourning inevitably decay into normalcy? Less than one Hebrew month remains until my father's first yahrzeit, thirteen months since his heart stopped for the second time at the hospital.… Continue reading The skeptic’s kaddish for the atheist, 48

The skeptic’s kaddish for the atheist, 47

Two weeks ago a middle-aged woman approached me at the back of the sanctuary, as I was readying to head home for havdalah.I've been thinking about you recently. You must be nearly done by now... I'm almost at the end of my eleven months.I recognized her immediately - the rabbi's daughter (blog #3). She had… Continue reading The skeptic’s kaddish for the atheist, 47

The skeptic’s kaddish for the atheist, 46

I continue attending minyan every day, despite having completed the traditional 11 months of orphan's kaddish. I continue standing alone at the back, feeling forever a faithless foreigner. Why do I - go? care? bother? ... always the same tired questions. Putting aside the old, stubborn basics, it is the kaddish that most draws me… Continue reading The skeptic’s kaddish for the atheist, 46