or: Tired

A cheap whiskey for mixing Rinses the mind out after Rubbing all ten digits raw Ev'ry finger tip pulsing Against an inclined keyboard Keys shadow'd by a darkness But new channels have been hew'd Flowing liquid won't settle Above the eyes as it should Won't submerge all kindly in The night's consuming shadows Rounded keys… Continue reading or: Tired

Memento

It's easier for me to write about the past than the present, but I won't attempt to evade this. This story begins as follows: Nearly 1½ years ago our family moved into our current apartment, and there were several issues to be dealt with, one of which was particularly unexpected. For the first several weeks,… Continue reading Memento

Hosting kiddush for Papa’s 2nd yahrzeit

I can use big words and use them well, but I'm also a childish creature and feel that the quality of my writing often conceals my smallness. Papa's 2nd yahrzeit (anniversary of death) is just around the corner. The official Hebrew date falls out on July 16th - next Thursday. This coming Shabbat morning (July… Continue reading Hosting kiddush for Papa’s 2nd yahrzeit

Absence makes

My friend Zvi's recent, unexpected death shocked me, perhaps all the more so because of the ongoing COVID-19 crisis. Counterintuitive, right? After all, death is all the rage in the news these days. (Death, death, death... I'm actually sick of writing about it but can't seem to get it out of my system.) I derive… Continue reading Absence makes

The skeptic’s kaddish for the atheist, 50

Papa's first yahrzeit fell out on the Shabbat before last. So... what did marking this date change for me? * * * Some things are inevitable. Even before learning anything meaningful or interesting about the orphan's kaddish, I knew that I would attend minyan every day to recite it for Papa. I also knew that this… Continue reading The skeptic’s kaddish for the atheist, 50

The skeptic’s kaddish for the atheist, 45

My grief is terribly indescribable and indescribably terrible. Writing about it twists my stomach into knots, clauses searing through my abdomen, as I tear into it with jagged words, gashing at sticky, fleshy gobs of disbelief that spill out in thick rivulets of revulsion. That's as far as I got with blog post #45 before… Continue reading The skeptic’s kaddish for the atheist, 45

The skeptic’s kaddish for the atheist, 37

Traditional Jewish prayer is fast-paced, and there's too much of it. Not only do I fail to derive meaning from reeling off prayer after prayer after prayer as quickly as possible in an effort to keep up, but doing so in fact detracts from my ability to find meaning in those prayers I do recite.… Continue reading The skeptic’s kaddish for the atheist, 37